By Shirley Genga
T his month is the anniversary of the day I bought my car.
I will never forget the first time I saw her parked outside my house. She was not new; her left taillight was cracked, her blue paint was unevenly sprayed, her interior was not impressive, but in my eyes, she was perfect.
I was like a proud mother hen, and mesmerised by her potential beauty, I named her Flo. The excitement I felt as I drove her for the first time was indescribable.
I was an innocent driver then, untouched by Nairobi road madness, but no more. In one a year, I have become paranoid and needlessly aggressive.
But I can’t help it. Motorists on our road have no manners. At one point, I was sure that majority of the people who drive on our roads must have been raised by wolves. They are rude, inconsiderate and shockingly crude.
Last week while sitting in a jam and watching some driver aimlessly switch lanes for the umpteenth time, I was inspired to write down a list of my top road pet peeves.
Top on my list was that driver who thinks he is in more of a hurry than everyone else in the world, and that every other driver just likes sitting in the jam to knit.
Sidewalks
For this group the thought of sitting still and waiting for an opening on the road like everyone else is too much. They would rather switch lanes three times even when they are not making any progress. You will also find them driving on sidewalks, blowing through traffic lights and overtaking even when it makes no sense.
Next on the heels of ‘Mr ‘I’m in more of a hurry than everyone else’ is the hooter, that noisy Neanderthal who honks about everything and anything. If your car is in front of his car, he hoots. If a fly passes near his window he hoots. When he is bored, he hoots.
Then you have the noise polluters who believe everyone should listen to their choice of music. So they zoom about town blasting music for anyone else that is unlucky enough to be close by. And most of the time the choice of music is terrible!
Then there are the show-offs. This group of drivers seem to think because they drive the biggest and most expensive cars, they somehow own the roads. And so they go about bullying people on the road and acting like they do not have to follow rules like everyone else. I mean, they have more right of way.
Piece of advice, elephant ego: “If you feel you cannot follow the rules on the road because you drive a big, imported third hand car, buy a helicopter.”
Another maddening group are the stingy types. These guys would rather die than give way to anyone. It does not matter how long you indicate. They will simply ignore you or menacingly shove you into the gutter.
And who can forget the very naive and trusting pedestrian who believes that all cars have functional brakes that never fail. So they sashay across the highway like they walking down an isle to meet their beloved one.
