Kate's Dilemma
I fell in love with this dude although I couldn’t stand his character. I told him that and he agreed to keep off. He confirmed this by having other chicks and he didn’t hide the fact; they could hug and kiss in front of me.
He then suddenly made an about turn and swore never to leave me — that he would only do so over his dead body.
I tried to focus on my new relationships but he kept insisting that he wants me back or he would commit suicide. I’ve been warned that if something bad happens to him, I will be answerable.
I cannot stand him and his unreasonable behaviour. I don’t think our relationship can work. I am a principled girl. What do I do?
Kate Kapris, Moi University
Your Say
Kate that guy is just threatening you. Can you make an informed decision and leave him alone. Evans Rotich
This dude has already showed you once that he can do without you. Stick to your principles and stop entertaining him by listening to his threats and reacting to them. Cindy Gathoni
Hey Kate, it is obvious that this guy is a player. The painful part of it is that he played on your face — he does not respect or love you. Love is something special that should be nurtured. Stand by your principles and forget about him; he is just threatening you. Move on with your new relationship and concentrate on your studies. Steve Oluoch
A person who wants to commit suicide does not go on ranting and threatening people about it — it is just a bait to keep you. Love is a feeling and so it should not be compromised by behaviour. If you can’t stand his unreasonable behaviour, then you don’t love him. Period. Aseri Dick
Gone are the days when committing suicide was meant to be a threat. This is an indisputable indicator of immaturity. It’s clear that you can’t stand his retrogressive behaviour and he’s just wasting your time. Selly Chepkurgat, Moi University
Counsellors Say
This is a classic example of emotional manipulation. It is extremely selfish of anyone, to place his or her decision on whether or not to live on you.
I can imagine how stifled you must feel, but this, has nothing to do with love. Sounds to me like this guy lost a good thing and now, he is backing you into a corner to get back what he so easily gave up.
I say don’t even give him more attention. Do not answer his calls, do not read his messages (delete them before reading them — I do that all the time) it will save you the heartache of imagining what he will or won’t do, and spare you the negative drama. Remember, the way he is able to get to you is by getting your attention. He can’t manipulate what he has no access to.
At the same time, you know him, and can tell if he is genuinely troubled or not. Either way, let someone close to him — a parent or uncles, know what he has said.
If he is suicidal, then a person who can help him should know. You can’t do much. You say you are principled so do not allow yourself to be derailed into what I can almost promise, will be a toxic affair that may drag on for months. He got over you once, he will do it again.
