Every young man has dreams and aspirations. Having a baby, however, is the last thing on your mind. If it happens, it impacts on the rest of your life either positively, or negatively, writes ALLAN OLINGO.
Being a young father is quite a scare for many men. They will, most of the time, find excuses to avoid the fatherhood responsibilities. For these young fathers, however, they have embraced fatherhood and are proud to share their experiences.
Dj kalonje, 24, father to a two-year-old girl
How does it feel being a young parent?
I am passionate about my daughter. I enjoy being a young parent as I get to bond with her and we understand each other in a unique way. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know people always ask whether I planned for this. Yes, I did and am proud to be a loving father to my beautiful daughter.
Did you always want a daughter?
In my family, we are four children. I have a younger brother and two older sisters. So, I never got to have a younger sister whom I would pamper, protect and take care of. I really wanted a daughter so that I can be there for her. It’s like I wanted to make up for not having a sister younger than me.
How does the mother take your relationship with the daughter?
She appreciates what I do for our daughter. Initially when she was pregnant, she was worried about how I would relate with the baby when it comes and whether I would take up my responsibilities. I did, much to her pride.
Most men always refuse to take up responsibilities after fathering children, what would you tell them?
A child is a blessing from God. Always take up your responsibility — that’s what makes you a man. It really doesn’t matter whether it is planned or unplanned pregnancy, but owning up for your action and taking up the responsibility is the best that you can do.
What about those who route for abortion once they get a girl pregnant?
Abortion is evil. If you are not ready to be a father, then use protection or abstain. Abortion can result in complications, which will complicate your life. It’s never the solution and I would not advice anyone to go or even think about it. Responsible sexual behaviour is important amongst the young people.
Ekodydah, 25, father to one-year old girl
What is your take on abortion?
Abortion is a sin. Just imagine if your parents chose that as an alternative to having you? It’s cruel and any responsible person should not even think about it. Let us not be selfish. When you indulge in sexual activities, be ready to take up the responsibly. Give the child a chance to live.
How does it feel being a parent at your age?
It’s a good feeling. It has added value to the person that I now am. From my experience, when you get a child, you have received blessing and even God will double his provision thresh fold. A lot of positive things have come to my life since I became a parent. The fruits are in abundance, so that I can provide for my family.
How did you take the news that you would be a father?
It was the happiest day of my life. I understand that most of those in my age would not react that way but I was anxious. I wanted to see my child, to see my own semblance. It was so special.
What would you tell the young men out there who will refuse to own up to fathering children?
I am a Christian and I firmly believe that what you give is what you get. You can reject the baby then you end up not having any in your life. What will you do? Just imagine it’s someone special in your life being rejected by another man. Say it’s your sister, close friend, or even relative? How will that make you feel?
Octopizzo, 25, father to three-year old girl
How does it feel being a young father?
It’s a blessing. I feel like a man now because I have someone who looks up to me. The way I relate and reason is now different from before. I have become more responsible and mature.
What went through your mind when you knew you were going to be a dad?
I was in tears, especially when she was in labour. I mean, it was the happiest moment of my life. Despite the fact that I was penniless then, I was proud that I had given life to someone else and my friends bailed me out.
What was your parents’ reaction?
I did not have parents but I took the baby home. My aunt was shocked. They did not even have an idea that I had a girlfriend, leave alone a baby. But seeing how responsible I was, they were impressed.
Why do young people avoid parental responsibilities?
All men should take up responsibility when they impregnate a girl. Children are a blessing and a gift from God. My daughter was born when I was penniless and I had the option of not taking up the responsibility but I did. Look at the blessings she has brought me. I am hungry to succeed in life not just for myself, but my daughter too.
What has fatherhood taught you?
It’s made me more responsible. As a single father, I can comfortably take care of my daughter. I have learnt how to change diapers, feed her, teach her and am proud. I even attend parental classes so that I can be the best father she will ever have.
What is your take on abortion, given that most young people see it as the easiest alternative?
Abortion is wrong. I always tell girls that any man who suggests abortion is a coward. When you are sexually indisciplined, be ready for the repercussions — be it pregnancy or STDs. I took that chance when I was penniless because I would rather have this child starve than not give them a chance to live.
