As we celebrate Father’s Day today, NJOKI CHEGE spoke to three doting daughters and two fathers who share the humbling journey of fatherhood

Fatherhood, like motherhood, is an opportunity to mould and impact a child’s life. Sadly, in this day and age, we are seeing more fathers absconding their fatherly duties. Thus begs the question, are there any good fathers out there? Eve Woman found out, yes there are.

ROSEMARY JUMA-SANDAGI Married mother of two

“Dad means the world to me. I am lost for words when it comes to describing him. In a nutshell, he has been there for my younger brother and I when we needed him most. My earliest happy memories with dad date back to when I was a child, where he would take us out to play on Sunday afternoons.

 

My parents separated when I was young, and for the first few years after separation, we stayed with dad. Thanks to his hard work, we lacked nothing. While he is loving, my father was also stern and strict.  He always told us to be careful of the choices we make in life, for they determine the path our lives will take.

I learnt from dad the value of self-respect and self-confidence. To date, daddy continues to be an inspiration to me. When I am low, I call him and we pray together. I believe the key to a father having a close relationship with his children lies in being open to each other.

My father was always open to my brother and I. He spoke his mind, without mincing his words and that way; we grew up in confidence and openness.  I am glad my husband has picked some of my father’s character.

DIANA KETHI KILONZO,

MUTULA KILONZO’S DAUGHTER

If I could describe my dad in one word, it would be ‘rock’ because he is the foundation of my life and someone I can always count on. He taught me the value of discipline, time keeping, reading and instilled the love for golf in me.

My parents divorced when I was still young, but dad has remained there for us all through. My dad is an exceptional man because he can see right through me.

I remember one day I came home late and found my mum furious.  I rehearsed a lame story I had made up on my way to the house. I told her that I had been abducted and taken to some mysterious place where I managed to escape.  She was horrified and shocked.  She asked me to call my dad which, I did.

 

He quietly listened to my fascinating story and at the end, he said only two things.  One, Freemasons was a men’s only establishment and second he instructed me to give my mum the phone.  

I wasn’t punished but I learnt a valuable lesson ? honesty. Words cannot explain how my dad has impacted on my life.

Another incident that I recall well was when I fell pregnant. Soon after I was admitted and began practice as an advocate under his tutelage, my pregnancy started showing. 

I will never forget how one day out of the blues, he reminded me that I came from a stock of strong women.  I have held my chin up high since.

It is on such occasions when you least expect it that he quietly reminds you that he’s right there with you. It’s hard to fault him; especially when he picked such a wonderful girl to be my mum

LINDA WAIRIMU MWAI

Married mother of two

 My four sisters and I grew up happy, always doing our best in school to be in our father’s good books and get small rewards from him. He was always home to help us with our homework and organise holiday trips for my cousins and I. 

My father was a teacher and even though he did not have a lot of money, we never missed a single day of school because of fees nor did we ever sleep hungry. We had the best of life.

From dad, I have learnt to be always there for my children, in the same way he was there for his five girls. Because of him, I morphed into a self-confident and self-respecting woman, I learnt not to compromise my values because I grew up knowing I was loved and valued. He moulded me and gave me a sense of belonging. I am glad I married a man just like my dad.

THE JOY OF FATHERHOOD

IAN MBUGUA, Father of three

Fatherhood for me is the proudest ‘profession’ or calling. Everything I do is for my children because they mean the world to me. God has given me the responsibility of nurturing three human beings and that is a huge responsibility!  

My life revolves round my family and particularly my children as I toil all day so as to feed, clothe and educate them. I must make time to be with them no matter how busy I am, as this is my prime responsibility. Watching them grow and share their successes is one of the greatest joys of fatherhood. Spending time with them and sharing my experiences is also another joy.

My children make a lovely, honest audience for me. One of the greatest challenges of fatherhood is ensuring I am able to provide for them. Trying to be a good role model to them, and giving them the right advice is also not easy

I believe young fathers must be there for their children. Do not spend time at work and say you’re working to provide them with all the necessities of life. What children need from you is quality time.  Be the one to teach them to ride a bike, play football, throw a ball and drive

If you are not there in their formative years, then the connection is lost and you will never be close to them. They will not be able to approach you when they have a problem. Make sure you are the one putting them to bed as often as possible (if not daily). Be a friend to them, not just a father. Be their confidante.”

SAM NTHENYA

Doting father of two GIRLS

“The greatest joy of fatherhood is the fact that I have these two genuine people whom I can be myself around. I appreciate the special bond between a father and his daughters and I am glad we have that bond.

My two girls are also a huge sense of responsibility, as I believe all fathers have the duty to love, care and protect their children.

Fathers have a special role to play in the lives of their daughters because this relationship determines how they turn out in future.

I believe the time a father spends with his children, particularly between the ages of zero to 18 years is vital in moulding their characters.

Fatherhood has transformed my life in more ways than one. I have had to re-organise my diary to accommodate their schedule in mine. Fatherhood has made me re-live my childhood all over again, as I have had to play with them, teach them to ride their bicycles and do things I only did as a child.

Fathers, don’t be there only on phone/ Skype. Be there physically. Children are forgiving and even if you have not been there for your children in the past, it’s never too late to begin. The most important thing a father can do for his family is give them hope for the future.”