The resilience of a mother

Isabella Kituri’s journey of motherhood, seven years on after her son was born, has not been without challenges, but is crowned with unmeasurable joy, writes GARDY CHACHA

A Swahili adage goes: “The pain of having a child is known to the mother”.

In its true sense, it embodies the rigours of life, the extent to which mothers go to in order to give their children a decent upbringing; free from hiccups and full of oomph. As a mother, what you do with your child when it is still small becomes a foundation to its growth. Consequently, the environment and the general style of parenting; what you do for them or around them as they add inches against gravity, becomes the backbone onto which character building hinges.

Time and again we’ve heard of women who’ve made it through adversity. For Isabella Kituri, her story captions a stepwise ascension from the pit of mystery to being a happy mother and career woman. Born and raised in the coastal plains of Mombasa, she lived a relatively normal life like most Kenyan career women, albeit reserved.

Giving all

Isabella is a mother to a seven year old boy and is a news anchor as well as a reporter with Standard Group’s Kenya Television Network (KTN). Many know about her life, tribulations and career, but not what makes her the type of mother she is; striking a balance with her job and being both a mother and father to her son.

Motherhood might have its own share of challenges, but many will attest that it is an experience worth the hustle. Like nature designed it, parenting is a workmanship of two hands, which connotes that it’s never any easier when one hand is missing.

Though she can feel the void left by her husband who passed on three months after their son was born, she has reinforced her resolve to provide him with the best parenting her scope allows. The challenge of learning how to parent while mourning the loss of her husband pained to the spine.

Every moment, each day, she feels the desire to spend time with him, but she has to feed her son, pay bills, take care of herself, and, therefore, has to efficaciously juggle her roles. She creates a day every week where they spend time together.

“My son and I are good friends, we reason a lot together and when we are having our time, I encourage him to pursue his dreams no matter how silly they sound,” says Isabella.

She envisages him being independent, confident and aggressive, for life is not for the faint-hearted.

Though it’s tricky as a single parent, she has learnt how to maintain her focus. At times, it becomes challenging for their friendship when she needs him to follow instructions and do what’s right. The task of getting him to walk on the path of discipline is sometimes painful since the burden solely hangs on her, but having been nurtured by able parents worthy of the name, she borrows a leaf.

When her husband passed on, she still managed to smile and be cheerful like she always did. She was determined to make it past the hurdles that would come her way henceforth. She made a choice not to dwell on problems, but rather look for solutions so that life could go back to normal.

Every day Isabella comes from work, however late it might be, she and her son have to read a storybook before he goes to sleep. They cook as a team too, and do gardening over the weekend.

When they are together, she can’t help but retrospectively remember how she kept pinching herself just to be sure it was her who had given birth to him. Like most mothers who want a positive upbringing for their son, she enjoys every moment she is around him.

To ensure he keeps tabs with his roots and lives an all rounded life, she ensures he visits his relatives upcountry — mostly during the holidays. He meets his grandparents, cousins and other kin. This way, he expands his horizon of thinking, preventing his mind from getting cluttered with city life experiences only.

Giving all

Isabella and her son love each other to bits. Their chemistry is natural and the glue that makes them an adorable pair is still adhesive. As her son grows each day she learns how to treat him with care. Her life revolves around him and she is determined to see him through to the point he will be man enough to look after himself.

At the moment, he has to be in the good schools and learn to love his education. As his mother, she’s also exposing him to extracurricular activities that would help him build his talents and any hidden capabilities. She has let him try out his hand on what he sees as he discovers what he loves.

No doubt motherhood is a spanner, nut and bolt affair, but Isabella has found her niche in it. In her own words, there is no better boss position than being called ‘mommy’.

On her personal life, she is not dating, but affirms that when it happens, she would never let it affect her son’s life. She understands the possibilities and ramifications of a new person in their life, but for now her interest is in making the best out of the time they have together as a mother and a son.

Hers has been a journey where she pushed on, cried when it was difficult and laughed when it got a little easier.

“I have kept a joyful song in my heart to get through the tough moments,” she says.

She describes her son as her knight in shining armor because he reminds her that tomorrow willa brighter day. She has kept her faith and is ready to go the full hog being his mother for it’s a task that requires no buffoonery.

For you who is facing a similar predicament, never fear or be indecisive: Act immediately to every situation positively.

When Isabella was a young woman, she envisaged herself being a mother in a family that remains joyous, facing life’s issues while maintaining focus on opportunities ahead. Isabella is a belle, which is remarkable. What she does with her son though is outstanding.