By Njoki Karuoya
This Sunday, the world will celebrate Father’s Day.
The day may not be as well known as Mother’s Day, but it is gaining popularity as more people begin to appreciate the critical role that fathers play in moulding children and, ultimately, the society.
A father who rules his home wrong without providing the right principles and foundation for his children is essentially raising dysfunctional individuals who, when many in number, create a dysfunctional society.
This scenario continues ad infinitum until some fathers start doing things right and urge their fellow men to do the same.
sonora dodd
Father’s Day is a new phenomenon that was created by, surprisingly, a woman — Sonora Smart Dodd.
Sonora grew up in Washington, USA and was one of six children raised single-handedly by their father, a widower and a war veteran.
Reports indicate that Sonora was inspired to introduce Father’s Day in 1909 after listening to a Mother’s Day sermon at her church. She wanted to honour her father and others like him, who do the right thing by their children.
The first Father’s Day celebration was held on June 19, 1910, which was her father’s birthday. The idea gradually caught on and in 1924, President Calvin Coolidge supported a petition Sonora sent to him about a national Father’s Day.
In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson designated the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day. But it wasn’t until 1972, after Mother’s Day had been in full swing for more than 50 years, that President Richard Nixon established Father’s Day as a national holiday to be observed in honour of all good fathers.
Sonora selected the rose flower as the official flower of Father’s Day and the tradition is to wear a red rose if one’s father is alive, and a white one if he is deceased.
So who is a good father?
It is someone who is there for his children, whether he is loaded or not. Children don’t look at a father’s material wealth but rather his quality time with them. Children cherish the presence of their fathers in their lives. They want to play with him and do things that will make him proud. Children hold dear the stories, lessons and encouragement their fathers pass on, and they will remember the encouragement and repeat these stories and lessons forever. It is their way of connecting with their fathers and maintaining his legacy.
legacy
Children are a man’s best legacy but sadly, an increasing number of men are absent from their children’s lives.
There are those who abandon the mother of their children as soon as she makes the ‘I’m pregnant’ announcement, while others depart after a few years or when hardship sets in.
Then there are those fathers who live in the same house with their children but never get to see them for two reasons — either they are workaholics who leave the house before the children wake up and come back home after they have slept; or the alcoholics who come home very late after the children have slept, sleep through the day when the children are up and active, and leave the house for the bar before the children get back home.
Just because a man is living with his wife and children does not make him a good father. And generations of Kenyans who grew up without the presence of their fathers or that of a father-figure are replicating that ‘absent father syndrome’ — or is it a curse? — and abandoning their own children.
The result is a society with people full of bitterness and unresolved issues that revolve around their fathers.
wild seeds
In the olden days, a man would not have been allowed to sow his seed then leave it to grow wildly, without care. The parents of the abandoned woman would haul his sorry behind to a council of elders where, at the very least, he would be ordered to weed, feed and water his seeds.
It’s time we got that system back, separate from the Children’s Court, which can make quick decisions enforceable by court.
Men need to be responsible and take responsibility for their offspring. If they do this, then Kenya will be filled with responsible individuals who cares for each other.
