What men can learn from Eliud Kipchoge

Eliud Kipchoge and his wife Grace Sugutt.

Last Sunday was a very important day - one in which we witnessed an event as rare as a solar eclipse. Our very own Eliud Kipchoge broke the World Marathon record so resoundingly and he looked so good doing it.

Now some people may argue Marathons are not as glamorous as the Sprints - after all most people imagine that athletics begins and ends with Usain Bolt. However, many people who have attempted to jog (or waddle in my case) will tell you there is something to be admired about anyone who can run 42km in about two hours - such a human being deserves respect.

Let me confess, if I were younger I would say I have a massive crush on Eliud Kipchoge; but since I am not I can safely say he epitomises a lot of admirable attributes as a man and as an athlete.

Since the sports commentators have had their field day with analysing his attributes, let me have my day saying what makes Eliud the man admirable – and what menshould borrow from him.

Let us start with the fact that Eliud is consistently good in his performance - I guess because he has taken time to be good. If you conducted a study among many of our women, they would tell you that our men are horribly inconsistent in their performance - good performance (when and where it matters) is more the exception than the norm.

Admirable attributes

Inconsistency and dismal performance lurk in every corner, from failing to keep promises to failing to put a ring on it but worst of all from failing to deliver the mighty O when it matters. Men like to give all manner of excuses but how I wish they would learn from Eliud that true men must give their best performance always.

Despite my deep admiration for Eliud: I am not blind to the fact that when it comes to looks and muscle he would not stand a chance in any Mr Universe contest. His facial features are rather average, he is a bit on the diminutive side and lacks the lean mean looks of the likes of Rudisha.

However, most of us will agree that based on his frame he is laden with layer upon layer of adipose. This is unlike many of our countrymen who walk around with girths so laden with fatty deposits, they could be used as sources of fuel especially in these times of 16 per cent VAT.

Eliud should consider investing some time in running a boot camp to get rid of the millions of kitambis that have found cushy homes in the bellies of our men.

Some men like to tell us that the more fat they have the more prosperous they are - they tell us that we should look at bellies in awe and wonder.

Many men have this misguided belief that women like bellies, that the more the belly the more the love and/or lust.

They do not know that too much fat housed in a man’s body reduces his aesthetic appeal  and dampens ardour and desire. Men who lack ‘pots’ and abundant fat deposits like Eliud are the way to go - our men should emulate him.

One of the admirable attributes about Eliud is that so far, he has been scandal-free unlike other star athletes and unlike most mere mortals.

We have not heard tales of him in bar brawls, we have not seen videos of him flirting and fondling women of suspect character. To date, we have not heard tales of him fighting with demanding baby mamas or seen social media posts of him walking on the wild side of life - all we see is videos of him running.

So far, Eliud appears to be either a good boy or very good in covering up his sins. Whatever the case, many women will wish their men behaved like him.

It is common knowledge that many women today are close to losing their minds due to the public humiliation they have suffered owing to the boo’s actions.

Men need to know scandals are not sexy and unnecessary - so they should avoid them or hire some good professionals to make them go away permanently.

Yet the most attractive part about Eliud is that he is not only famous, but loaded as well. Most of his outings earn him millions of dollars and he travels in style since after all, he is a star.

Women dream and pray for men like him who have enough money and who do not have to worry about minor details in expenditure like price movements of data bundles. Women are quite versatile when it comes to adopting the latest in fashion, in diets and other trends.

However, they are inflexible in their understanding that broke men can never be attractive - no matter how good their hearts and minds can be.

Brokenness in men can tolerated only temporarily if the women are convinced that huge earnings are on the way, or if the bedroom skills cause pleasure so intense that women cannot think straight. Women are unanimous in their belief that a man with loads of cash is very attractive and a man who is also famous is super attractive - and so we can safely assume that Eliud has now become super attractive.

We recognise that all men cannot have all of Eliud’sattributes. However, we are happy to accommodate menwho have fat bank accounts, and lean abs - the fame and record setting performances are a welcome bonus.

- njokikaigai1@ gmail.com