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Why women must learn to lower their expectations of men

My Man

There is an African saying that goes, ‘Dogs do not actually prefer bones to meat; it is just that no one ever gives them meat’! This would be a good place to start for most girls and women in Nairobi.

When it comes to choosing a boyfriend, these girls seem to have quite a high regard of themselves, such that the urban areas is teeming with disgruntled women who cannot find a partner.

I will make an attempt to help the sisters here. The ratio of men to women is not favourale to women. When you take out the rapists incarcerated at Kamiti for 14 years, high school boys and pretty criminals that majority of our women who understandably give a wide berth.

Then there are the drug addicts not to mention sponsors who prefer ‘buying the milk from the shop instead of zero grazing’, and priests, men who are around but not available.

So as a woman looking for a soul mate, if you want to place your premium next to stratosphere, you can only have yourself to blame if your love life is as hopeless as a dirty coop.

I have watched women dance dangerous at edge of a cliff simply because they are ‘competing’ with their friends unknowingly. If your friend has a partner working as a banker, you want nothing short. If you have a friend whose boyfriend works in Gigiri, even if he is a driver, you make Warwick Centre and UN Avenue, off Limuru Road your hunting grounds.

Dear sister, you will only succeed in attracting failure and depression. Take life cautiously and deal with whatever comes your way one pace at a time.

The business of building castles in the air will only serve to age you faster and ruin any little chance you may have of landing a good man.

I will let you in on one little secret to help you in your search. Men like their space. Even if you heart tells you to stick around the man like a moth to a light, if you really want to keep such a man for keeps, give him some freedom. He will reciprocate.

But if you want to suffocate his space, even before you have introduced him to your former roommate in college, the man will figure out that he is headed to being shackled for life. That he will be no different from those fellows eating ugali in prison.

By the way, with the current crisis of unga, what would be the prisons authorities be feeding the prisoners? Spaghetti? But I digress. Finally, if you are looking for a partner, you should have a formula to it. It is simple, the higher your experience living in this world, the lower should be your conditions.

You cannot have too many demands or as one of my pals calls them ‘pre-existing conditions’ and still expect to be competitive in this game.

Pre-existing conditions here are not those maladies that medical insurances demand that you must declare before you take a policy.

It is the high expectations that most women place on their suitors to be.

They must be rich, tall, soft spoken, sweet...blah blah blah. My ‘fren’, even kidnappers negotiate.

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