Makmende n other Kenyan crazes…

By Smitta Smitten

‘Makmende Makmende Makmende’ … that was the virtual vybe of Kenyans all of last week, in cyberspace, bars n cafes — as Pulsers n Pulsaters strove to out-makmende each other on jokes n updates.

‘Makmende’ may be new, but he just the laytest ‘Kenyan’ phenomenon (although he might be our first fad to have made it into the prejistous ‘Ukuta Street’ journa).

Everyone had sumzing to say about Makmende — our very own homegrown Jack Bauer/Superman, wit the chuo boy’s tie n an afro, who’s like the ‘First Body’ in the world — n straight out of the 80s.

I still recall the First Body in our Praima, a guy from Kiserian calld Geoffree Zimbo who, unfortunately, waz as thick as he was thickset. In Class Six after histo, I nicknamed the dude ‘Zimbo, the Zinja’ n he wekead me ‘wanted,’ before we broke for Easter hols, n gave me the hidin’ of a lifetime. Zinja, if ya readin’ this, all I can say is "nye nye nye nye nyeeee, yu can’t catch me."

Makmende mania

This dude evn got advice on how to extend his popularity from intellectually half-cooked entertainment ryters who semad he should "get a love interest" (yet the ‘unclich’e’ way he bounces from the dudette at the end — a the Ha-He video totally adds to his cool-o-meterix!).

Me advice to all such know-it-all about the ‘muzik’ industry entertainment ryters is first work on ya English (sayin ‘more bigger’ in ya copy is so-ooo Standard Two) b4 yu dare give adviski to Makmende. Msceeeeww!!

Tha only thang I can say is ‘Makmende’ phenomena will last until World Cup, then the amnesia of the omena minds of many miros will move on to other fish ta fry — like World Cup.

In tha meantime, there will be ‘mogekoyos’ in River Road – I printin’ T-shos with ‘Makmende’ on the front, n quotes like ‘Death had a near Makmende experience’ at the back, as Just-A-Band bask in the glow of ‘fifteen minutes o’ Kenyan style fame,’ n pirates mint chinky on they’a name. Thaz juzz the way this thug town u-perates.

I feel a lil ill for ‘Jua Cali’ releasin’ his creative Miaka video-shizzle same week as ‘Makmende’ hit. N yu can bet ya belt (n the boxers underneath) dat the mara hiyo hiyo thing that waz just beginning to catch fire has been 4ever squashed under the Makmende craze.

So, watt other Kenyan crazes a-been a-foot o’er da years, dat seized the Kinyan mind, at least 4 a bit, n mostly created by the zizki industry in the country?