By Anne Anjao-Eboi
I will probably get barbs flung my way but my strong conviction is that women were created by God to be homemakers. Today’s lifestyle, however, has given us reason or excuses not to be homemakers.
We argue that we are also earning money just like the men folk. We demand that men must chip in and if they don’t, then a cold civil war takes centre stage in our homes. Recently, I saw a man, a man who had strapped a baby on his back using a lesso — just the way women do it — on the streets of Kigali, Rwanda. My first temptation was to think that this behaviour was acceptable in this nation. But I noticed people staring incredulously like I was, and though I could not understand Kinyarwanda, I gathered that what the man had committed was an abomination.
To be frank, educated as I am, and the great advocate of women’s rights and comfort that I am, I was totally disturbed. If I were his wife, I would certainly not be proud to be found walking alongside such a man. Am I contradicting myself? Haven’t we all been fighting against marginalisation and fighting for ‘equality?’
Truth is, I have no problem with men helping out in the house. In fact, I encourage it.
What I am against is the total overhaul of responsibility because it is not godly. When Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden, the punishment was swift. Women were to endure labour in delivering children while men were to toil the land to put food on the table. Women by nature, therefore, are homemakers. They cannot suffer in the delivery room then abandon these precious bundles to an unkempt home.
It is unacceptable for a man to return to a home that looks as if a cyclone had visited it — clothes strung all over, permanently dirty dishes and children yelling and running all over the house.
The mistake we make is that we rely on the house girl to clean up, take care of the children and cook. Since one person cannot do everything efficiently, the wife ought to direct the affairs in her home. I know many men prefer eating their wife’s food, but have got used to the maid’s because they have chosen to be ‘understanding’.
If only we would stick to our roles as designed by God, we would reduce strife in our homes. This is not to say that the men should load it over their women. This is not to say that men should not occasionally make dinner for their wives nor help with the baby.
It is just that the man is the head of the home and should be accorded his respect. I am cognisant of the fact that some men have abdicated this responsibility by choosing to be ‘househusbands’ because they are too lazy to go earn some real money and are dependent on their wives.