The 'xaxa' 'xema' slang generation

The Pulse crew, last Fridae of August, had its knicker-bockers all in a twist over Generation Xaxa (summa them, like Nancie Nzau, firmly belong theya). I got to thinking about those Up-town Teens, chilling in their rooms, on theya computers, talking in mod day Internet slang to their peers (n maybe dangerous strangers).

N with the help of one, user name Bree Cherry, I got to decipher the new X-Age Internet slang-o (like the Russki agent in the movie, The Man From U.N.C.L.E) – n coz imam here to de-brief parentskis still stuck with theya high school, high-tech bratskis, lemme share that info with you, asap.

The Digital Age

(My nickname in high school waz ‘Digital Underground’ coz even waayy back then, I was so Luddite).

208 – Tuonane

8 – Oral xxx.

9 – Paro is watching. 99 – paro is no longer watching. 411 – the latest news.

69 – An xxx position.

243 – I luv you. 254 – Kenya. 18U – I Hate You.

IUD – I Need Weed. DIU – I’m Drubk (I mean, drunk!).

420 – Marijuana (dat poor chuo chicka had 420 in her UPS – underpants).

4Q – Eff you! (like, ‘4Q, MOFO!’ Mofo? We’ll get there) ...

I mean, tis like bloody Ludacris lyrics, these Internet teens, like –

‘Now u thought I was just 770, act like you donno, I’m 4-0-4, worldwide bitch, Globe-trot, international post man, e-mail... to seven one eight, 2-0-2. I send small cities and states I-O-Us.

So control ur hormones n keep yur drawers on, till I close the door n bang yur bones!’

BBW – Brenda got a ‘big ole buttski.’

BOB – Bat Operated Boyfee (aka dildong).

CBF – Can’t be effed!

DURS – Damn Ur Sexxy.

DUSL – Dya yell loud?

F2F – Lez meet face to face (dangerous)!

FB – paroski may think tis FaceBook, but its actually a ‘f*** buddy.’

FBI – Female Body Inspekta (aka TMF – Team Ma-Fisi).

GAP – Got A Picha? (for the Internet, to see if who you vibing online looks like an aborted warthog).

H4Y – Hot For Ya (n to think we were guys only for telling chickas ‘HNY’ (Happy New Year) as teenskis).

I& I – Intercourse and Inebriation.

IWSN – I Want Sex Now.

ILU – I Luv U (dudettes, if a guy texts ‘ ILUIWSN,’ I swear he ain’t serious about u).

IDN – I’m Posting Naked (pic).

IAW – I Am Waiting! (*drools on keyboard in anticipeshon).

ITS _ Intense Sexts.

Kitty – anutha way to call a cat a ‘meow’ (its five lil letters dat we’re talking here).

LKITR – Little Kid in the room.

FIRM – Father in the room. MR – Mother-in-room. (also, MoS – Mom over shoulder).

MOJO – Mutha - ******. MILF – Mothers I’d Like (blank blank).

POS – Piece of s***. (s8)!

P911 – Parent Alert.

PAL – Parents Are Listening. PAW – Parents are Watching. PIR – Parents In Room.

(seems to the Smitts teenagehood is the undeclared civil war tween tois n theya folks).

Ru/18 – R U over 18? (to avoid Jim Watt situations where yur singing in cell, yet yu ain’t St Paul, songs like ‘ Kumbe ni under 18, sa mi ningejuaje, knu/18? Na vile anapewa maji! Knu/18? Nitambiaje jaji??’).

I have an idea! Dear Pastor Ng’ang’a, if yur reading this, pliz sing ‘Under 18’ by Jim Watt in jail, na milango za geresa zitapanuka, u-toke. How do I know this? The ‘journalism’ ma-dimonsi in me head told me, tak!

RUH – Are You Horny?

Sorg – Are you Straight or gay? (correct answer – it is a non-issue).

STM – Spank The Monkey! (pliz don’t say spanking the monkey is against KWS regulations).

Taw – Teachers are watching.

WYCM – Will You Call Me. WYFM – Do I have to spell it out for ya? pliz, go figure!

TDA – Tap Dat s8.

WYRN _ Watts Your Real Name? (yeah, like some serial killer lurer on the net is gonna scan u his I.D. Wait till yur a jihadi bride after being lured by shabaab in a town called Bulo Burti in the middle of Somalia. You see that name after the Mrs? That’s my real name!) 208.