If men were to bare their hearts…

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There comes a time in every man’s life when he discovers the value of hiding the grosser parts of his nature. He starts reciting the sweet nothings you long to hear: "No, honey, I play golf for the exercise."

• Yes, we fall in lust 10 times a day, but it doesn’t mean we want to leave you. If the oldest question in history is "What’s for dinner?" the second oldest is "Were you looking at her?" The answer: "Yes, we were."

• We actually do play golf or hang out in the bar to get away from you.

• We’re unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after we’ve made one to you. We love you to death. We think you’re fantastic. Most of the time we’re absolutely thrilled that we’ve made a lifelong vow of fidelity to you in front of our families, our friends and an expensive video camera.

• Earning money makes us feel important. Yeah, we applaud the fact that women today earn more than men. Well, that’s what we tell you.

• Though we often protest, we actually enjoy fixing things around the house. In truth, it’s rewarding to tinker with and fix something that, without us, would remain broken forever and we even get to use tools.

• We like it when you mother us, but we’re terrified that you’ll become your mother.

• Every year we love you more. For some men it takes them at least a year before they start to really appreciate their wives for something other than just great sex; and they don’t discover her mind fully until the third year of marriage.

• We don’t really understand what you’re talking about.

Well, we don’t understand. It doesn’t make any sense to us at all.

• We are terrified when you drive. If you want to know how to reduce your big, tough guy into a quivering mass of fear, ask him for the car keys.

• We’ll always wish we were 25 again. So if you see us not acting our age please forgive us.

•Give us an inch and we’ll give you a lifetime. If you let us be dumb guys, if you embrace our stupid poker night, if you encourage us to do stupid things by ourselves, our silly little hearts, with their manly warts and all, will embrace you forever for it.