Parenting is a complex job

Nairobi; Kenya: Having been a parent for many years now, I have made a number of mistakes and also done wonderfully well in raising my two sons.

They say that parenting is the only job that comes without a manual.

One day you are single and carefree and tomorrow you find that you are entrusted with the huge responsibility of taking care of another little person.

Even when they become bigger and taller than you, they are somehow under your care.

This little person is a big deal.

He or she looks up to you and is basically hopeless without your constant love and care.

It may not be easy to measure love, but what I know for sure is that one can never quite claim that this parent loves his child less compared to the next.

Parenting is the biggest gamble that has ever existed and even though most if not all parents care for their offspring, it is no guarantee they will turn out okay.

It is no guarantee that they will become responsible citizens.

It is no guarantee that they will love you back and take care of you in your old age.

Parents normally strive to parent the best way they know how, doing what they know to the best of their ability given situations.

Many try not to make their parents' mistakes, but that does not mean they do not make their own in the process.

Some, no matter how much you will tell them to be just fine, no matter how much you pray for them and counsel them, no matter which good schools you take them to, they manage to let you — the parent — down miserably.

My cousin and I had this conversation and agreed that no one should really point a finger at the parent.

It would be unfair to say that a parent has failed in raising a child (unless they do drugs and molest their offspring) because parenting is a complex job and though there may be the general rules of raising a child, the rest is truly a matter of trial and error.

My mother says that no parents really hate their children.

That they always wish them the best even if they make mistakes in their guidance and nurturing.

I have learnt that no child is like the next, and that is why children raised in similar circumstances may turn out quite different.

I have learnt that there is no perfect parent and that as a parent one can only do his/ his part and leave the rest to the universe.

I have learnt that a parent's choices in the initial stages of a child's life contribute to how his future turns out to a large degree.

I have learnt that no matter how close a parent may be to a child at a young age, a disconnect may occur later in life stages and only tact and wisdom can help a parent mend the gaps that may affect the parent-child relationship.

I have learnt that even when there appears to be an irreparable damage to this special relationship, the healing balm works wonders because there is no union quite as that of parent and child.