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Acing money management wars at home

Money

 A typical man will have no qualms hosting another one who has just come back from a local or overseas business destination to some nyama choma and a drink. He may not have any immediate plans of going into business, but he will listen, nevertheless, and note important facts and figures as they are narrated. Such an encounter will definitely cost the host money, an investment in knowledge that many women can neither understand nor stand!

On the other hand, a woman will save a tidy sum of money and use it to spruce up her house with new décor, cups,  blankets and so on. She may also go on an impulse buying of new clothes and shoes while her husband's major plans stagnate on account of school fees and other overheads. A male spouse to such a woman may blow his lid off at his wife's apparent "insensitivity" and lack of "consultations" in her "superfluous" purchases while "big issues" dog the family.

While stereotypes galore abound on who is a better saver or spender in a relationship, the inescapable fact is that women spend more on looks and the domestic budget while men take care of long term investments.

According to personal finance experts, women tend to be more detail-oriented with their money but not necessarily better with it than men. And men tend to be reserved in spending their money on small things but are fixated with the bigger financial picture - a car, a house, land, stock and so on. But financial success for both men and women boils down to the individual person and not the gender.

Women's investments often go alongside the family model where they buy "socially visible" items with immediate utilitarian value, hence the perception that they could be smarter with their money.

Women are often more sensitive than men about their image and invest heavily in it. Frequently, they spend a lot of money on clothes, shoes and handbags and on home improvement.

A relationship minefield is when women give men too much credit in paying off debt and saving for big purchases than the men actually do. And the suspicion of the "other woman" or the "unseen dependants" when his finances don't add up is often the first salvo.

And men often overestimate women's capacity to cling onto some money saved somewhere for a rainy day, sometimes taking offence and starting fights when such funds are not forthcoming in a real emergency. This is frequently the beginning of many money wars in families. But the key to money bliss in relationships is in listening and understanding what the other thinks than believing in popular gender misconceptions.

Photo: clutchmagonline.com

 

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