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How desperate men bet on 'nailing' it with women

NaiNotepad

Lying man

I have heard all sorts of white lies, deceptions and rumours that have made my blood boil.

But the worst, which I still think is the most ruthless thing, is when a grown man lies (to his pals) that he (finally) sampled the goodies in your cookie jar.

Of the gazillion lies men tell, this is perhaps the most slanderous. The nerve! The sad irony of it is that the ignoramus fool spinning the story is usually a total loser, you would never go near with a ten-foot pole.

Can you imagine being so sexually-deprived that you resolve to lying about it? It is not improbable that such a person's most erotic sexual fantasy is simply getting laid.

What goes through your head when you are bragging to your boys about how you are nailing some hot damsel who you know very well would never give you the time of day?

In reality, the only action you could be getting involves a cheap lubricant and your right hand! It is even more tragic that this pitiable wanker would never rack up the nerve to ask you out if a gun was held to his head.

Ladies, I know it can be infuriating to learn that some dimwit has been lying about getting it on with you, but you should take it as a compliment really.

Of all the ladies he could fantasise with, he chose you! It is such an honour. Think of it as giving back to the less fortunate! Dimwits need sexual release as well, imagined or not.

I almost fell prey. After unequivocally stating that I would never lay him even if he was the last man on earth, he changed tactics.

He asked me to go back to his place all the same and swore on his mother's grave that he would not touch me. It was late in the night and I was tired. All I wanted to do was sleep. I told him as much.

He said he would let me sleep, even volunteered to sleep on the couch. I was perplexed. What was the point?

He could at least have suggested that we go back to his place and have a long meaningful conversation because there was no point of me going to his place at all.

He pleaded and begged and even tried enticing me with full English breakfast the next morning.

At some point, I thought he was going to cry. I was adamant. He finally let it go.

Later that night, I learnt that he had made a bet with his boys that he would take me home with him. So, if I had gone home with him he would have lied to his boys that he scored. Disgusting!

@RoxanneKenya

 

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