×
The Standard Group Plc is a multi-media organization with investments in media platforms spanning newspaper print operations, television, radio broadcasting, digital and online services. The Standard Group is recognized as a leading multi-media house in Kenya with a key influence in matters of national and international interest.
  • Standard Group Plc HQ Office,
  • The Standard Group Center,Mombasa Road.
  • P.O Box 30080-00100,Nairobi, Kenya.
  • Telephone number: 0203222111, 0719012111
  • Email: [email protected]

Nairobi’s top 10 ironies

City News

Nairobi city

Nairobi does not have unique accented language like say, Kampala. Neither does it have a distinct smell like cities in the Middle East, where pungent perfumes punctuate the air visitors breathe; or the legendary stench of New Delhi that assaults you right from the airport!

Nairobi does not have a favourite ethnic delight, think Berlin sausages or chocolate finos of Copenhagen. The city has no acclaimed beat, like Highlife in Lagos or Kwaito in Jo’burg. But ours is still a great city which continue to attract thousands from around the globe. May be it is its contradictions that gives it a mysterious appeal.

Here are 10 ironies that make up the puzzle that is Nairobi:

 

1. Triple heritage in twilight

This is nowhere near the late Prof Mazrui’s trilogy of cultural influence. But you just can’t miss the ‘S’ triad of scholarliness, sin and sanctity. Yes, our sin street of Koinange starts from the fountain of knowledge that is University of Nairobi and stretches all the way to the hallowed ankles of the Holy Family Basilica, where the Pope once bent his papal knees for prayers.

 

2. Inglorious honour

Albert Luthuli was the first African, and the first person outside Europe to win the Nobel Peace Prize in 1960. In Nairobi, he is accorded some sort of inglorious honour in the form of Luthuli Avenue, a cesspit of contraband, drugs and crime. Luthuli would cringe in his grave were he to get wind of the reputation of the street meant to immortalise him.

 3. Luminary nonentities

Nairobi is perhaps the only city that does not honour historical figures. Oginga Odinga was the country’s first Vice President and doyen of opposition politics. While other towns like Nakuru, Eldoret, Mombasa and Kisii have streets named after Jaramogi, Nairobi has none. Not even a statue. Same for Mandela, the greatest African who ever lived, whose larger than life accomplishment is not celebrated here. Perhaps it’s only the hostel at University of Nairobi’s Upper Kabete Campus that strives to save the city’s phase in celebrating Mandela. Not surprising though, after all no when seem to even care that Wangari Maathai was the first African woman to win the Nobel Peace Prize.

 

4. Plush slum

While the affluent prefer exclusive Karen and Runda neighbourhoods, retired President Moi had his private residence overlooking Kibera slums, where opposition agitator Raila Odinga was his area MP. Beat that!

 

5. Frisky diplomacy

Could the Israeli Embassy along Bishop Road be more secure than State House? Its hawk-eyed security officers leave nothing to chance and are probably more elaborate than the screening you get at the house on the hill.

 

6. Intellectual idiocy

Since the 1990s, there is hardly a University of Nairobi demonstration that did not result in students looting and stoning innocent motorists. Why Kenya’s brightest students behave like Stone Age barbarians is a puzzle.

 

7. Wayward leadership

You would expect that the most learned and polished people would be the one governing the city. Far from it. We have crass MCAs with the dishonourable indignity of hurling seats and insults at each other. The mayors and councillors before them, as well as the scandals and fights between the governor, Women Rep and Senator, buzz with the nauseating vile of flies over a lump of excrement!

 

8. Divided we stand

Nairobi is famed for its diversity, but you can tell which estate is home to what community based on the area’s Member of Parliament. Kibra is an obvious example. Fred Gumo was the Westlands MP courtesy of the Luhya population in Kangemi and Kawangware. Minority communities like Indians prefer Parklands, while Arabs and Swahilis find refuge in South C.

 

9. City of men

Nairobi is teeming with women, but the CBD only has one street named after a woman; Mama Ngina. While no one says she’s less deserving, still, we have other similarly honourable women, like  Wangari Maathai and Mekatilili wa Menza. And by the way, who is the Wambui honoured by a road next to Muthaiga Primary School along the Thika Superhighway?

 

10. Too far, yet so close

Nairobi’s traffic is legendary. You can sit in traffic along Lang’ata Road or Mombasa Road for more than three hours enroute to a place that should not take more than 10 minutes by car. In one and a half hours, you can be in Nakuru, 159 kilometres away, by car or in Kigali by air.

 

 

Related Topics


.

Popular this week

.

Latest Articles