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10 traits of city’s single daddies

Single dad and son                        Single dad and his son      Photo:theurbandaily.com

Cases of child upkeep battles between estranged couples are on the rise in Nairobi. This is true of both the wealthy and poor, with many finding themselves in court and at the Children’s Department.

The outcome is almost always predictable, a demand that the father step up and take care of his offspring. But what is it that ails single dads. Granted, some are in the state following bereavement, separation or divorce.

We look at common traits among city’s single dads.

1. Mr Independent

He walks with his house keys in the pocket or car. The kids are after all in the village living with grandma. He’d rather have the kids stay with mummy than fork monthly upkeep dough to a woman he now loathes. You’ll probably know him from the differently coloured socks he’s wearing. He’s still trying to adjust to caring for himself after years of being pampered by a woman.

2. The ‘Ebenezer Scrooge’

This guy is interesting. You’ll expect him to have an extra coin for the watering hole now that there’s no commitment to footing salon and chama bills. But not Uncle Scrooge here, the thrifty single dad who skimps even on his personal grooming. Forever broke, he’s full of lame excuses like the rising cost of school fees, groceries fuel...just about everything. Don’t invite him over to your table!

3. Zero Commitment

He’s Mr. Carefree Happy Go Lucky. Life is about having fun, with a bevy of beauties; but with no strings attached. He’s not going back to the leashed life of dealing with a nagging virago.

4. The Braggadocio

He thinks that a man’s greatest achievement in life is a brood of brats. You don’t measure up if you haven’t ‘panda mbegu’ or visited a delivery room, and you will likely be dismissed with patronising putdowns like ‘Wewe nyamaza hapo, usiongee na watoto wako kwa magoti.’

Ignore him and just nurse your drink, he’ll soon get tired of thrusting his phone with photos of big-eyed kids in your face. Some of us know the value of condoms!

5. Father Abraham

Father Abraham is the generous type who has literally heeded the Biblical call to go forth and multiply...to fill the world! Which he’s doing religiously since it’s not his home he’s filling. He has his kids...and then there are ‘those other children with other women,’ some of whom he’s unaware of.

6. The ‘Muchatha Man’

With this man, the son is named Waiharo after his father and daughter is Karima after his mother. He is traditional to a fault. Painfully boring...everything reminds them of their kids. The discussion cannot go on for five minutes before Githendo yaps about ‘my daughter Karima this’ and ‘my son Waiharo that.’

7. The whiner, complainant

Poor guy, always complaining how the wife messed him when she dumped their one-month old at the reception and took off...blah, blah, blah...and now she’s all grownup may turn just like the mother...blah, blah, blah. Yaawn!

8. Tender-loving care

Let us applaud the real men out there who are strong in heart, mind and pocket. Have you heard of ‘before nap time and bedtime we always read books with my son’ or ‘ever since she turned three, we have gone on field trips each week’? This is the real deal and ironically, the man of a woman’s dreams!

9. The nostalgic guy

He kicked out wifey, who became even sexier and prettier, and now he wants her back, constantly asking her to come ‘see your baby’ kumbe all he is angling for is a “Mombasa Raha” sexcapade.

10. The played dude

He’s like the whiner, forever lamenting how he wasn’t into the relationship, but got tricked and eventually there was a baby, then she left, but I’ll soldier on...Dude this is tiring! Nobody can make you do want you don’t want to. The sorry look isn’t the same sheepish and contented grimace you had when you were in the throes of passion making the baby. Just man up!

 

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