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Why many campus relationships don't see the altar

My Man

 Last Saturday night, I was so bored in the house, short of searing my wrists for fun. As a result, I ventured out to sample some newly arrived whiskey from Scotland, courtesy of my fellow columnist in 'The Nairobian', Solomon Koko. I was in the company of my friends from campus days.

Now, the problem with Nairobi is that it is annoyingly a small city that there is no hotel, restaurant or nightclub you will go to without meeting someone you went to school with.

At some point past midnight, two stunningly beautiful women came through the door. They were so hot that the room temperature went up, quite literally. They were in extremely short and provocative dresses that exposed thighs a man would sink his teeth into ravenously. They were equally curvaceous leaving little to the erotic imagination of men in the house.

As they walked closer to our lounge chairs, I noticed by their hairstyles, high heels and mannerisms, they were the expensive type. The type that will opt for pricey, creamier drinks that I could not afford for the night. So, I tucked my tail between my legs and went back to my whiskey.

When they got closer, I discovered that they were young women that I know. They were a year behind me in campus. If they were beautiful in campus, now they were absolutely gorgeous, courtesy of new money, acquired taste and a comfortable life. By their dressing, one could question their present calling in life, but given they were and are still my friends, I cannot judge.

But one of them, let us call her Nancy, is my topic today. Nancy was the talk of campus. Women with exceptional looks like her always ended up with senior students or the rich men from the city.

Strangely, she dated a boyish young man in her class. Word had it that they were extremely faithful to each other and had even abstained from sex. Something we would never substantiate. But we all envied her boyfriend. Attempts to seduce her were met with a wistful smile that told you to back off, lest she embarrasses you.

Now, this night, the Nancy I was looking at was a different woman. I suppose a lot has changed since we last saw each other, a couple of years ago. Back then, she was reserved, church-going, and shy almost to a fault. Now, she was a buoyant, wild and unchained.

I asked one of my friends, whatever happened to her boyfriend and gathered that they broke up in their final year in campus. My heart sank.

See, campus is where people learn what heartbreak is. And it hurts like nobody's business. And when it is those lengthy relationships (those that go on for more than two years), it can be worse. For young and impressionable individuals, they can be too ideal, daydreaming of a great love and marriage into the future. Only that reality invariably snaps them out this reverie.

Campus is a place to experiment. Few love stories materialise in marriage. Women mostly leave their campus boyfriends for older and more 'monied' chaps. And men mostly leave campus girlfriends for younger and more beautiful women.

So, if you're in campus and in a love that you think will end in marriage, maybe you should not be too optimistic. Just live for the moment, and when time comes for a breakup, lift your chin, and carry on with life.

My advice for those in campus, is to never invest so much in anyone. It is a place you learn how to fall in and out of love. You learn the human nature as an adult. You learn what betrayal is. And from that you grow to make wiser decisions in matters love and relationships.

Nancy seemed to have moved on. I wonder what the poor boy who invested so much love and resources in her is holding up.

@nyanchwani

[email protected]

Photo: madamonoire.com

 

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