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There is nothing like a bff! Just stick to your lane

Lady Speak
 Photo: Courtesy

Friends are the best thing that God gave us, of course apart from family. It is God’s most precious gift. It is evident even in families where absence of friendship is a recipe for wrangles.

People find themselves in families, they have no choice of where to be born or by whom. Therefore, they grow up with family ties that are unbreakable.

You can deny your family, but that’s the farthest you can go because the ties are forever. This is however different when it comes to friendship. You can choose whoever you want as a friend.

Drop them and pick them at your own convenience and no one will question you. You are in control of your life anyway. The reason I am saying this is that many friendships have gone down the drain, all because of people attaching themselves to imaginary relationships. These days people are all over calling one another BFFs, which I understand means Best Friend Forever.

Forever has a new meaning because sooner or later, they realise that BFF is just a trending word, it does not add any loyalty to friendships.

The other day, my colleague who had confided in her ‘bff’ almost 90 per cent of the skeletons in her closet got the shock of her life when the beans were spilled all over Facebook by a pseudo account! She immediately pointed at the former bff because the friendship had just suffered a blow and they were not in good terms.

 Of course the bff denied being behind the keyboard with the pseudo account. Maybe she was hoping she was not the only one who had been told all about the skeletons.

My colleague however swore on her parents’ graves that she had only confided in this former ‘bff’. The story of her life was all over social media attracting comments.

As unfortunate as it may sound, the poster had the nerve to tag my colleague, at least to ensure people had the exact picture of this colleague. People rushed to her profile to put a face to the juicy story that went down. Screen shots were taken and circulated as well as her photos downloaded.

Of course it was not anything to write home about. We all know how fast bad news travels. You can imagine your dirty linen being aired online, it travels hundreds of kilometres with just a click. By the time my poor colleague was getting wind of the whole thing, comments were about to hit the 3,000 mark and it was barely an hour after it had been posted.

The damage had been done and in came cyber-bullying complete with its whole clan. She almost took her own life, all because of settling for the wrong person as a BFF.

Before you decide on labelling someone your BFF, just make sure they are worth the title. You do not have to have a BFF after all, who said you must? How many of us are with no single BFF and are surviving? Personally, I do not have a BFF and I do not regret it! The world taught me better.

Just like money, friendship can bring both happiness and sorrow. Just make sure you keep your circle small, not even close. The closer you keep it, the higher the risk, the smaller it is, the better for you. We have enough people masquerading as your friends but in real sense, they are there just because there is something they gain from you, and that something is not positive.

Real friends do not use one misunderstanding to bring their friends down. Be your own keeper. Choose friends wisely.

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