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Keep off your ex or deal with a fumigator

Lady Speak
 Photo; Courtesy

Ladies, one of the reasons you should never tolerate your exes is because most of them are bound to bring your past into your present in a bid to kill your future. Personally, I do not even engage any of my exes whether we had a friendly or a grave break-up. I learnt my lesson the hard way.

Not so many years ago, I had this ex who became an ex before we even realised we had stopped dating. We broke up without any fight or incident, we just found ourselves out of the relationship and into the next. We therefore agreed to maintain contact but with boundaries.

Wrong move! How do you even place a boundary where there is no territory? We would still go for dates together and call each other 'just to say hi'. My sisters, I will tell you again, if you can keep off from an ex, do it with all your heart, mind and soul. Otherwise you will go drying... whatever that means.

I was in a serious relationship with George and still having frequent talks with my ex Jim. To me, it was no big deal and I even told George about it. George was hysteric and warned me to cut links with Jim if I cared about our relationship.

Since I cared and thought doing it was going to be as easy as saying it, I sent Jim a message asking him to keep off since I was now in a serious relationship.

That was the beginning of a tussle I had never imagined myself in. Jim refused to let go of our friendship and claimed George had no right over my friendship with him.

Somehow, he still felt like we were an item and I had no business moving on with another man and if I had to, there was no way I was going to cut him off. Because I was already serious with George, I adamantly cut ties with Jim amid his protests. I stopped picking his calls and answering his texts.

One sunny Saturday, I was busy in my kitchen, dressed in George's shirt making him breakfast when he walked in and said the fumigation guys were at my door ready with their apparatus. I could not remember procuring the services of any fumigator and so I grabbed my leso, tied it on my waist and rushed to the door with George in hot pursuit.

I got to the door, swung it open only to be met by Jim carrying a huge bag as if he had come to move in with me. I controlled my shock as I turned towards George who was now standing behind me and asked him where the fumigator was and he pointed at Jim.

Before I could even bring myself together, Jim was already explaining to me how insects are harmful to my health and he was there to eliminate them all. Were it not for my quick action to turn down his service and slam the door, he probably would have started with the one huge insect standing behind me.

Luckily, he did not insist, he went away as soon as I slammed the door and I sighed in relief at how a close shave it had been. I thought it was all over until that evening when a mutual friend of George and I liked a photo on my Facebook wall. The picture was of Jim and me and thanks to the latest attention it was getting (likes and one-word comments like, "awesome" and "beautiful" from friends I have never met), the post was now the first item on my timeline.

These are the words George used to break up with me. "I wish you a happy life with the fumigator. I hope you both kill as many insects as possible."

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