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How to take care of a sister battling cancer

Lady Speak
 Photo:Courtesy

October is breast cancer month and in commemoration of this day, I just want to celebrate a heroic friend. Esther, a single mother of a 10-year-old, was diagnosed with breast cancer end of last year. It was stage one.

She underwent mastectomy at the start of her treatment regimen and also had some sessions of chemo.

Luckily, after the rigorous treatment, Esther was declared cancer free. But the nine-month treatment journey was maddeningly intense.

At one point, the chemo nearly gave her a total knock out, she just wanted to die. Being her close friend, I was privileged to walk her through the journey and I learnt a lot from her pain. Today, I will share some of the insights I got from my friend’s journey battling cancer. Other than chipping in financially, here are other ways to stand with a friend battling cancer.

Be there for her: When Esther started chemo, the first sessions were bearable. We could chat over carrot juice and ndumas on Saturday afternoon, as we watched a movie. But as the treatment progressed, she grew weaker in body and spirit. There were days she was so beaten, she cried endlessly like a baby. And cry we did with her. I remember days I used to sit by her side in the bathtub and just weep with her as I listened to her sorrows.

Take care of her kids: Esther has a 10-year old daughter, Nadia, and there were days she was so sick, she could not be there for the daughter. As her friends, we would take turns to hang out with Nadia to ensure her mother’s sickness does not interfere with her studies. When Esther was really down and in a foul mood, we would ensure Nadia did not experience that side of her mother. As Esther’s friends, we basically shielded Nadia from her mother’s tumultuous seasons.

Run errands for her: Are there bills to be paid? Documents that need to be dropped somewhere? You can run such errands for your sick friend so that they can focus on their treatment. Imagine someone going through chemo and having to worry whether the water bill has been sorted.

Encourage her, pray for her, cheer her on: Mid-way through the chemo, there were days Esther would wake up and declare she just wants to die, but as her friends, we had to pump hope into her. I recall days when we would kneel down by her bed and hold hands praying for her. And it worked. By the time we were done with our prayers, she would be wearing a priceless smile on her face, ready to fight on.

Pamper her: With chemo, there were good and bad days. On those good days, my friends and I would take Esther out just to pamper her. From manicure to pedicure, we would spruce her up, just to lift her spirits. The worst is now over and Esther is cancer-free running an online support group for cancer survivors.

The writer is a married working mother of a toddler boy and a pre-school girl. She shares her experience of juggling between career, family and social life.

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