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I’m 18, pregnant and too ashamed to tell anyone

Girl Talk
                                                        Photo:Courtesy

I have been brought up in a strict Catholic family and was always taught never to have sex before marriage, and I feel ashamed that I have gone against this!

Dear Coleen

I’m an 18-year-old girl in my last year doing A-levels. I’ve recently found out I’m pregnant, but am afraid to tell anyone.

I have been brought up in a strict Catholic family and was always taught never to have sex before marriage, and I feel ashamed that I have gone against this!

My boyfriend of three years is in his first year of university. I know that it would ruin his life if he found out about the pregnancy, and I can’t lose him.

I’m afraid that, when I tell people, they are going to judge me and look down on me for getting pregnant at such a young age.

I am also hoping to go to university next year to study teaching, and now I’m worried that it won’t happen because of the pregnancy.

Also, I’m terrified of my father’s reaction if he finds out about this. I’m worried about what he might do to my boyfriend. I’m the youngest of five children and he is very protective of me.

I have looked online at different options and, because of my religious beliefs, I don’t believe in abortion.

But, at the same time, I can’t see myself having a baby.I have my exams coming up in the next few weeks, but all I can think about is what I’m going to tell people and how I’m going to do it. I’m lost and have no idea what to do. Please help.

Coleen says

The first thing you must do is see your doctor to date your pregnancy and discuss the options. Anything you tell your GP will be treated in confidence.

Let’s deal with your boyfriend. It takes two to tango, so this is his responsibility as much as yours. Neither of you took steps to guard against an unwanted pregnancy. If he’s not the type to be supportive in this situation, then why are you so desperate to keep hold of him?

You’re absolutely right – a baby does change everything massively. If you have this child it might put your immediate plans on hold for a while, but it doesn’t have to put an end to them. If you decide to keep this baby, then you will have to tell your family at some point soon.

Maybe you can tell one of your siblings first and they can break it to your dad so he’s prepared. I told my parents that my sister Maureen was pregnant in order to diffuse the situation a little and things worked out fine.

Twenty-six years down the line, they’re married and have grandchildren.

But please see your doctor to discuss your worries. It’s your life and your decision. And you have to do what feels right for you.

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