I left my husband for another lover – now he is willingly giving me away at wedding

England: Carl Voss was getting out of the bath when Lucy, his wife of 18 years and the mother of his five children, told him she had a new lover, She had carefully chosen that moment, explaining later: “I thought that if he kicked off he wouldn’t be able to run down the road after me in his dressing gown.”

“Who is he?” Carl demanded after she dropped her explosive news.

“Her name is Leanne,” she replied.

After her shell-shocked husband told her to get out, Lucy stuffed some clothes into a bin liner and moved in with Leanne, a girl 11 years younger who had been a customer at her tattoo parlour.

Now two years on from that traumatic moment Lucy, 40, has another young lesbian lover but has mended her fences with Carl so well that he will be giving her away when they get married.

He fully supports her new relationship, and looks after their children in the family home while she shares a flat with 25-year-old Selina Atkins.

Lucy says: “Carl and I are going through a divorce while Selina and I are planning our wedding. He says he will give me away... just to make sure he gets rid of me!

“We’ve endured some very emotional times but Carl understands that coming out was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. We have a lot of mutual respect for each other. We are still best friends and I’d do anything for him.

“But I could no longer live a lie. I couldn’t pretend to be a conventional wife because I am totally in love with Selina.”

Lucy had never experienced a gay attraction when she met Carl at 18. They hit it off over the CB radio and began dating in their home town of Ramsgate, Kent.

Lucy says: “Carl was easy to get on with with a great sense of humour. He was a good-looking guy and the perfect gentleman. He spoiled me by always buying me little presents. He bought me my first red rose for Valentine’s Day just two weeks after we first met. It was the most romantic gesture of my life and melted my heart. We fell head over heels in love.”

When Lucy broke the news that she was pregnant, Carl cheered. Their son Aaron, now 22, was a toddler page boy when they married in July 1994.

Three more boys followed: Dale, now 19, Joshua, 17, and Luke, 14.

Lucy says: “Our lives were chaotic. We had four boys in a two-bedroom house. Carl was out all day working in a shop and I had an evening job in the chippie. I would do a quick breastfeed before rushing out and had to leave Carl literally holding the babies.”

Daughter Bethany-Anne, now eight, came along later, then Lucy started a course in business management and accountancy to improve her career prospects.

Juggling studies with part-time work and Carl’s new early-hours job as a postman hit them hard. “Neither of us felt we were getting the support we needed,” says Lucy. “It was hard on us both.

“Carl left but we were both sad. I hated the family being torn apart and wanted him back. After a six-month separation he moved back in.”

After graduating Lucy set up a tattoo studio and it was there she first realised she was attracted to women.

She says: “Leanne came in as a customer and I tattooed her arms, legs and back. We grew very close and started a sexual relationship. I wondered then if I might have always had lesbian tendencies but had pushed them to the back of my mind.

“I wanted normality. The wedding. The family. I never gave being gay a thought. But I saw sex with Carl as a means to having the children I craved. I knew I had to satisfy his needs as part of being married. It’s what you do.

“But I hated cheating on Carl with Leanne. I knew I had to confess to him.”

When she moved out after the bathroom confrontation, it was left to Carl to break the news to the children.

“But we went together to their schools to explain the situation,” says Lucy. “I didn’t want the kids suffering for my actions. None of it was their fault.

“But after four months the new relationship turned sour because of the pressure from my children and Carl being quite angry.”

After a rocky period , Lucy managed to repair relationships with her kids. The first Christmas after leaving home she slept on Carl’s sofa so she would be there when they woke up to open their presents. She did the same last year.

“I didn’t want to fragment the family. They didn’t deserve that,” she says.

After splitting from Leanne, Lucy was introduced to 25-year-old Selina through a mutual friend. They were instantly attracted, but there was a problem.

Lucy says: “I couldn’t contemplate being with someone 15 years younger. Selina was only three years older than my eldest son. But she was determined not to give up. She kept coming on to me and wouldn’t let it go.

“We kept bumping into each other as the local gay scene is quite small and close-knit. She kept asking me to go out with her and so many times I almost did but backed out at the last minute. I fancied her like mad but there was something telling me it was all wrong.

“Finally, after Christmas Day with the kids and Carl, I popped round to my friend’s house and Selina was there waiting. We walked back to my flat and since then she has only left once – to get her suitcases.”

Now Lucy takes both Carl and Selina to parents’ evenings at the schools.

“One head teacher confided that I’m not as unusual as I might think. He said there was a lot of same-sex parenting at the school and he doesn’t bat an eyelid. Life as a lesbian seems normal to me now. Selina and I are totally dedicated to each other. She is in my phone as WTB: Wife To Be.”

Selina, a supermarket worker, believes she has a great rapport with Lucy’s kids and a good friendship with Carl.

She says: “I respect Carl for the strong man he is and also for being a brilliant father. The children are their No 1 priority.

“I knew I was gay from the age of nine and my mum was really supportive. I’m just as supportive with Lucy. I can’t wait until she is my wife.”

Meanwhile, Carl, 46, now a part-time cleaner, has come to terms with the upheaval. He says: “After 20 years of working hard to build a family I couldn’t understand how Lucy could destroy it for another woman. I never saw it coming. It was a bolt out of the blue that left me dumbstruck. My world was shattered. If it had been another man I would have moved heaven and earth to win her back. But as soon as she said she was in love with another woman I knew there was no going back.

“I never felt inadequate but just could never understand it. But now I am pleased to see her so happy. And I’m glad she has managed to rebuild the relationship with the children.

“Lucy is a wonderful person. She’s kind and considerate and will do anything for anyone. We had two decades of wonderful married life together. We have five beautiful children and I’ll always be there for her.

“If in five years time she comes knocking on my door and says it’s all been a big mistake, I would take her back. I have dreamed about that moment many times. But somehow I can’t see it happening now."