Of Busia freebies, brides and 'unga' as love spreads in the time of ebola

Strange things happen in Nambale, the Busia sub-county headquarter where the Anglican prelate Alexander Muge went to die – after being warned not to set foot there by departed, loose-tongued politician Peter Habenga Okondo many moons ago.

Nambale is back in the news and once again, the spoken word revealed its remarkable power over the denizens. Last weekend, a rumour that had all the hallmarks of a cock and bull story did its rounds, but since locals take bullfighting and cock-fighting rather seriously, it was elevated to a life-transforming event.

 As the story went, dozens of fair ladies who, for some reason, were rumoured to be from Ukambani, would be unveiled for the sons of soil to pick their choice.

The only condition was that all men would be bachelors. Yet again, none of them questioned this stringent condition, more so after polygamy recently enjoyed legal boost in Parliament.

That wasn‘t all; the new husbands would receive Sh10,000 ‘seed capital’, a bag of unga, cooking pot and mwiko or cooking stick to ensure their new brides would not sleep hungry.

There was no mention of mboga (vegetable) because no self-respecting man in Busia County would lack some ingokho (chickens) that are considered mboga in that county.

POLITICAL REASONS

As to why Nambale youth were chosen for this pilot, nobody bothered to answer, or even why daughters of Ukambani were being provided for them. But it is a safe bet to say, rather politically incorrect, that Ukambani daughters were selected for political reasons. A Luhya-Kamba alliance would merge two ‘big’ communities to form one political party.

And so it came to pass that young men from as far as eastern Uganda as well as the neighbouring counties of Siaya, Bungoma and Kakamega rode, trekked or cycled to Nambale to wait for the fair ladies.

By 7am, over 100 young men were reportedly assembled, waiting for the damsels and other goodies from the magnanimous non-governmental organisation.

Some, no doubt elated at the prospect of their good fortunes were preparing to send salaams to their new in-laws on the radio, or even thanking the Government for securing pipi (wives) for them.

Many must have spent the day conjuring images of their new spouses, wondering if they‘d be tall or short, plumb or slender, light or dark.

SILICONE IMPLANTS

 

I doubt it if the youth of Nambale know a thing or two about silicone implants that are used to enhance boobs or bums, which is to say one’s outlook can be transformed to the dictates of their desires.

For them, their visions of beauty are probably a lot more grounded, their needs a lot more basic. All they wanted was pipi, and which sirkal was ready to subsidise in their provision.

By nightfall, the young men realised they had been conned and there were no pipi in sight.

Still, the youth of Nambale provide a poignant portrait of the ethos that defines us collectively. The alacrity with which they rushed to receive something for nothing is symptomatic of a national malaise.

None of them had an inkling of self-pride. But then, it might be too much to invoke self-pride in a generation that believes their work is to implore, “naomba Serikali” for any challenge that assails them since, in their estimation, they do not have power to do anything for themselves.

So, let’s give it to them for at least riding to the venue in Nambale, even when they couldn‘t use their heads for anything else.