Two women who received donor kidneys from their sons, tell LUKE ANAMI how their families have rallied around them in their hour of need

When Mary Muli started experiencing pain in her lower abdomen, she thought it was just a minor problem that would easily go away. But when her feet, face and abdomen started swelling with persistent pain, it dawned on her that her condition was serious. She was breathless and struggling to perform simple household chores, prompting her to visit a doctor.

"When I visited a doctor, I was looking forward for a quick fix to my problem," Muli, a mother of two sons and a survivor of two kidneys transplants says.

"However, following my examination by the doctor, I noticed laboratory results were taking long to be released. I suspected something was wrong when I was asked to take further medical tests."

Mary Muli

Mary and Joseph Muli (seated) with their son Leon who donated a second kidney to his mother.

The Amwayi family. Standing left to right: Abel, Edith, Lilian and Job (kidney donor). Seated: Francis and Olive. Photos: Tabitha Otwori and Courtesy

The doctor ordered further tests, which revealed kidney failure. Within a few months of the diagnosis, she had developed other complications. Her health was deteriorating fast.

Doctors said she would need a kidney transplant and had to go on dialysis until a donor kidney became available.

"The news that I would have a kidney transplant was shocking. I wanted the doctor to explain to me why my kidneys had failed in the first place," Muli, a nurse at the National Youth Service Health centre on Thika Road recalls.

"Who was going to donate the kidney as my two sons were still very young?" she wondered.

Further, the kidney transplant was estimated to cost roughly Sh1.5 million, a figure the family could not afford.

She realised she needed to drum up all the support she could get. She turned to relatives, friends, professional colleagues and anybody else who counted in the fight to have a kidney transplant.

"What was previously a personal affair turned into a family, and later a communal affair," she says.

The experience changed her outlook on relationships, especially family. Her plight caused concern not only to her family but also to people who had known her for most of her life.

As a family, the Mulis were devastated. Ms Muli saw her marriage dreams crumble. She wondered what her husband thought about her.

"Why me? Is this the end of my marriage?" she asked herself.

Luckily, her husband, Joseph Muli stood by her and offered encouragement. It helped a lot that Mr Muli is also a trained clinician who understood what she was going through.

"My husband and I organised a harambee as I continued visiting the hospital twice a week for a dialysis," she says.

"But what surprised me was the amount of support everyone was willing to offer. My brother and other relatives offered to donate their kidneys much to my amazement," Muli says. "I realised there’s a lot of love in my family."

Eventually it was her brother, Peter Njore who was found to be compatible and a suitable kidney donor.

"My brother donated a kidney and a successful transplant took place in 1997," Muli says.

She had nine years of good life following the kidney transplant. However, she started noticing the urea in her blood system was increasing in 2007, the tenth year after the transplant.

More visits to the hospital revealed symptoms of a fresh kidney failure.

"It was shock and disbelief when I was told by a doctor that I needed to go back to dialysis again," she says. In 2008, doctors delivered the bad news: she would need a second kidney transplant.

Muli felt like the end of the world was fast approaching. She was devastated.

"It is a traumatic experience when you realise the kidney you received is not working," she says.

"You feel you are not part of the world you thought you were."

She stopped working in 2008 when her condition deteriorated. She lost a lot of weight and become vulnerable to other medical conditions that did more harm to her health.

"When our mother had a kidney transplant ten years ago, we did not notice how sick she was at the time," Leon Muli, her first-born son and donor of the second kidney says.

"My brother and I were very young and hardly noticed what had befallen her. The second time round, I noticed she was very weak and was losing a lot of weight," he says.

The third year student at the United States International University (USIU) did not anticipate how his mother’s problem would affect them.

"When a loved one falls ill, a family member often ends up being the primary care giver. But knowing what to expect can ease the passage of this difficult time," Leon observed.

Caring for a loved one who is terminally ill can be emotionally and physically draining. Simple tasks such as cooking a meal can prove to be invaluable.

Leon and his brother Makau Muli, a second year student at Kabarak University, took over the tasks of cooking and other household chores in the house.

Leon would take his mother to hospital every Tuesday and Thursday morning for the dialysis. This enabled his father to continue with his employment uninterrupted.

"I would be back in the evening to prepare supper for the rest of the family," Leon says.

At first one of his uncles stepped up willing to donate a kidney but due to complications arising from his insurance cover, it was not possible. But by now Muli’s two sons were over 18, meaning that they were potential donors.

Leon says his father approached them and they both went to the hospital for tests. He was found compatible. This particular event would change the relationship between son and mother forever.

"After so many years of watching my mum ail, literally dying before my eyes, I didn’t think twice about giving her my kidney," he says.

The second transplant took place early this year. Following the operation, Leon says he has a new appreciation of life.

"I feel more purposeful," he says.

He marvels at how an organ from his body could change the life of his mother.

"The kidney is small in size yet the role it plays is so crucial," he says.

The action has united the family. The Mulis do not take each other’s existence for granted.

Dr Olive Amwayi is another woman whose second kidney transplant has changed her family views.

The mother of four — two sons and two daughters — marvels at the life lessons her medical condition has taught the family.

"The most important thing in life is family. Family members come first in everything, including saving a life. The journey has been a family affair. In most cases you are on your own with the rest of family members. The Government offers very little or no support at all," says Amwayi who has had two kidney transplants within a year — one in February last year and a second ten months later.

Her body rejected the first donated kidney just a few months after the transplant.

"The kidney I had earlier donated developed a blood clot after the transplant," her son, Job Amwayi, a second year student at the Nairobi Technical Institute says.

The family was devastated but comforted by relatives and friends.

"I am closer to my mum than ever before. I can see why family members remain the pillars and determinants to one’s quick recovery," Job says.

The second transplant operation was performed in India and the donor was Amwayi’s cousin.

For Muli and Amwayi as well as numerous kidney transplant survivors across the country, their medical journeys have been dramatic. As for the medical benefits, the most obvious is the increase of one’s life span. On the social front, there is more bonding in the family. It helps family members understand each other and strengthens the ties that bind a family together.