By Lillian Wamalwa

A focused young lady settles into employment. It is her first job; she is fresh from college, very ambitious with her eye on the ball. She hasn’t the time for anyone, especially not for relationships — they are a waste of time and a derailment.

She has everything going for her, and by month three her boss adores her.

Then Joe shows up. At first he comes off as a mere pest, trying so hard to get her attention.

She pities him because deep down she knows that he does not stand a chance.

But Joe is not about to give up on this girl. She is truly a beauty, and her innocence and warmth shine through her serious face.

He presses on, and finally gets a chance to talk to her.

He is indeed quite charming, and he goes ahead to secure a first date with her even though he is a married man. "But it is just coffee and friendship," he thinks.

Besides she would never allow him to take her out on another date. She thinks the same.

Very soon, Joe steals her heart, and he becomes all that she ever wanted.

She even begins to lapse in her duties at work and lose focus. She has her head in the clouds, and her stand on the ‘taken’ or ‘spoken for’ men is changing.

He calls daily and invests heavily in her, providing all the financial aid that she needs.

He also plays the role of a friend, and assures her of his unfailing support. Everything she wants is a call away; this guy has truly outdone all the previous men in her life. He is also wealthy and knows how to spend his money. Soon she is ‘in love’.

After many months, having got what he wanted, and like a soldier who has just completed a lengthy battle, he retreats.

No calls, no texts — Joe is awfully quiet. Does this mean that the dream is over? Could it be that he is busy and that he will soon get back?

Her texts are ignored and the hasty responses she got earlier everytime she would text him are no more.

Poor girl! But didn’t she know better? This was a married man.She didn’t surely expect him to give up his family and all that he had built with them for her?

Ladies, this one is to you. A married guy will never be serious with you. You are simply a pass time. He’s simply testing the waters, trying to see if he can still play the game, or he’s probably bored.

And, yes, they do come all charming and you might easily mistake that for love. But that is because he is living with a woman.

He knows what to say and how to say it; how to act to get you to give in. Spare yourself the agony, the heartache and the embarrassment that comes with this type of relationship.

It is bad for your health. We must learn to send them back, these men, by asking them to stick with the one they chose for life and be true to their wedding vows.

If you don’t, all you’ll get are empty promises and worse, a disease.

Who knows how many of your kind he is toying around with all at the same time?

Be sure to watch out for these men and remember, it’s nothing serious.

You are just a pass time!