By Tony Ngare

A recent report by an NGO gave startling figures on teenagers dabbling in sex.

The report indicates that teenagers who consider themselves old enough to swim are actually jumping into the deep end of sexual ‘sea’. This is probably not good news for parents with teenagers.

While the Film Censoring Board is busy sending 15-year-olds to bed at 8pm on weekdays by labelling certain movies unsuitable for their age, the teenagers are actually going a step farther come the weekend.

These harrowing facts led to some pub talk last weekend involving the usual suspects. Frao says kids are learning to walk and even speak at a much earlier age and therefore we shouldn’t be shocked to learn that they are also learning many other things on the side.

"Look, it was not until after my ‘O’ Levels that I discovered the hitherto forbidden fruit," claims Frao. The man can lie through his teeth-at times. However, on this one my gut tells me he could be telling the truth. Anyone who knows him agrees that ordinarily, he would want to be seen as the macho man but not on this matter.

Frao’s revelation prompted us to take an impromptu ‘when did you do it first?’ quiz.

And so everyone opened up. We found it amazing that while women prefer to go first on all the things that favour them, on this one Stella and her pal Shiko steadfastly turned down our ‘ladies first’ offer.

Kim and Brayo seem to have been the ‘early explorers’, having done it in Form Two. Shiko wanted us to believe that it was during her second year at the university. Stella maintains she did it several years after getting a job. I have a suspicion that there is something Stella is not divulging. I strongly suppose that, given her character, she could have been curious much earlier than she is willing to let on.

I challenged her to come clean on that and give us the right information, but all she did was rebuke me. "Tony, I did not know that I have to clear with you every time I need to have some fun," she said with a glare.

"My apologies. In future I will make sure I get you on the line so that you can hear everything," she added with a sneer.

At this juncture I declared that she was hitting below the belt and declined — like a good politician — to participate in a fraudulent exercise.

How times change. Back in the day, a girl could take you round and round for years before letting you hold her hand. Today, mobile phone airtime and a packet of chips are good enough to get you a ticket to the ‘promise land’.

"The children are exchanging sex for petty items like cell phone airtime, chips, pocket money and girls exchanging it for sanitary towels," said Rosemary Onyando, Executive Director of the Centre for the Study of Adolescence.

But seriously speaking, it’s surprising to see that parents and guardians getting shocked that teenage sex has pervaded our society. Who did they expect is using the reportedly 12 million condoms a month?