It’s wonderful when a woman loves her son but some women take the mother-son relationship to an unhealthy level.

Some mothers should be put to death for abusing their sons. They smother and control them, all disguised as ‘love’. It is one of the greatest and most widespread crimes in society and it always goes undetected because it is hidden behind a ‘mother’s love’.

The damage they do to their sons is enormous and undermines their sons’ chances of forming healthy relationship with other women.

It’s bad enough dating a mama’s boy but getting married to one is even worse. A friend of mine who was married to mama’s boy once told me the only thing that kept her from killing her mother–in-law was the fact that she did not want to spend the rest of her life in jail.

Last week a certain lady who I will call Triza wrote to ask advice on her marriage. The 35-year-old’s marriage was in tatters because the husband was still tied to the mother.

She claimed that she had done everything in her power to open his eyes and show him just how sick his relationship with his mother was.

She claimed that her mother in-law would not leave their marriage alone. She was always hovering around trying to prove that she was the only woman in her son’s life. The mother would call the son at any time of day or night and talk for eternity. On his part the son never took any decision without consulting his mother.

Whenever they planned a family outing, the mother-in-law always found ways of squeezing herself in. A week ago the mother organised a family dinner and invited all her children and their spouses except Triza. Through all this her husband never uttered a word.

All he could say was that his mother didn’t want her around and then proceeded to the dinner alone. He didn’t even put up a fight for his dear wife.

Finally Triza had enough and confronted him when he returned after dinner. She laid it all bare and asked him to choose between her and his mother. To her shock the hopeless fellow packed some of his things and moved back in with his mother.

My advice to Triza was to decide whether she wanted to be happily single or unhappily married. Marriage is a sacred union between a man and his wife, not his mother, his wife and him. Once a third party is involved then the union will never be sacred or happy.

I advised her that she had the option to accept to be the third wheel in the relationship or to move on. The relationship a mama’s boy has with his mama will prevent him from forming real bonds with any another woman. He can only be saved if he severs the connection or if his mother finally lets him grow up.

Advice to all women: If you notice your man is a mama’s boy, just run for your life because you simply cannot compete.