Uganda President Yoweri Museveni is warning Al Shabaab of dire consequences if they dare make good a threat to attack Kampala.

Yes, Museveni is right to defend his country, but how do you warn potential suicide bombers who kill themselves along with innocents, just for the glory of it? Listen to Yoweri: "In Mogadishu we are not active, we are just monitoring. If they want to come and kill people in Kampala like they are killing in Somalia, we know where to get them." God help Uganda.

Before the 9/11 terror attacks, service crew were free to enter the pilots’ cabin. Now doors are locked and pilot and co-pilot sleep in turns, hoping the other remains awake. But is that what have happened when Northwest Airlines’ Flight 188, with 147 passengers, overshot its destination by 240km? The pilots claim they were, "in a heated discussion over airline policy". What they do not say is why for over an hour they did not hear traffic control!

Please give President Kibaki a walking stick and tell him it befits a man of his age. We appreciate the toll the 2002 road crash had on his gait and age too isn’t helping. Kenyatta combined the bakora with a flywhisk while Moi carried his rungu everywhere. Watching his problems in walking briskly, this is the solution fellow wazees Njenga Karume, John Michuki and Simeon Nyachae found long ago.

Tony Robbins taught us: "Life is a gift and offers us the privilege, opportunity and responsibility to give something back by becoming more." He, however, seems to have been taken seriously by New York City’s billionaire Mayor Michael Bloomberg who is expected to spend about Sh10 billion to defend his seat for a third time. In total once he burns this loose change, he would have spent at least Sh20b to be ‘His Worship’!

And finally...

As America walked a tight rope during last year’s campaigns, US stand-up comedian Jay Leno said: "In this campaign, the three major candidates have to be careful when they criticise each other. You can’t criticise Hillary. Ooh, that’s sexism. You can’t criticise Barack. Ooh, that’s racism. And you can’t go after McCain, because that’s elder abuse." Luckily he came out unscathed and the black man agreed to work with the white woman and the older man conceded defeat.
palaver@standardmedia.co.ke