Government opens Mswari account in order to borrow more at cheap interest rates

With the government’s appetite for borrowing growing exponentially, it has emerged that the Treachery Cabinet secretary has opened an Mswari account on behalf of GoK to enable it access short term loans at shylock rates.

“That Kenya’s total public debt has been growing at an average of Sh700,000 per second since President Uhuru Kenyatta took over government is bad news. Borrowing Sh355 billion every year as we have been doing since 2013 will haunt future generations.

“At a rate of about seven per cent per month which equates to over 80 per cent per annum, that is much better than what the Chinese are lending us at... we just had to take this deal... plus this is public, with the Chinese ones no one really knows what the interest rates are...” the Treachery CS is quoted as saying while explaining the move.

And as Treachery mandarins explained, the Mswari loans will be used for unexpected and urgent petty expenditures that can’t wait for government officials to fly abroad on a begging mission.

“The short term mobile loans will specially come in handy when we are hosting important guests at government offices and we suddenly run out of sugar or mandazi to go with the visitors’ tea,” explained a source.

The source added that the CS is also considering signing up with online lenders as well.

“This is not the time to be choosy or proud... we will take any loans from anyone...” the source quoted the CS as having said.

Additionally, government employees who are eligible for airtime for their work activities will no longer be issued with the same. They will now be required to use Okoa Jahazi facilities with the government making a commitment to pay back.

Heavy borrowing

“Why buy airtime on a cash basis for civil servants when we can borrow... why should we let a loan facility go unused?” the Treachery CS is said to have posed when announcing the new measures. The heavy borrowing by government is having an adverse effect not just on the country’s image but also on senior officials.

Unsurprisingly, the CS for Treachery is one of the most seriously affected. He is, for instance, expected to undergo surgery in his right hand in due course in order to repair a broken ligament that resulted from signing too many loan documents. He is also in trouble with shylocks whose loan repayments from the government have been delayed.

“He has even had to move houses at night to an unknown location after one of the shylocks traced his residence... it is only a matter of time before his new place is discovered and he moves again...” a domestic servant of the CS disclosed on condition of anonymity. Not only is the CS not picking calls from strange numbers not saved in his address book, but he has taken to changing SIM cards almost on a weekly basis.

Indebted newborns

“He’s really stressed... he’s ageing like an American president after eight years in office... or a road built by a Kenyan contractor,” a source close to the CS revealed. The debt situation is so bad that it is even making newborns think twice about popping out!

The Paediatrician Association of Kenya (PAK) has actually blamed the rising number of babies being born crying, kicking and wailing on the country’s indebtedness.

“The thought of these newborns paying this huge debt all their life just drives them up the wall!” said the chairman of PAK.

“And some are even refusing to come out of the womb and we have to force them out... Don’t be fooled... the increasing number of caesarean sections is not because some women are too posh to push – it’s the debt that’s scaring the babies to staying put in the womb!”