How to know he's not the one in 100 days

You meet a guy, you like him, he doesn’t notice you. Others you hope they don’t remember your name instead they ask for your number. And you just want to disappear to those old days  when only our parents had phones. You hope they wont text you but oohhh well, they do and its boring.

There is this guy I liked WHOLE heartedly. But he was ‘kinda’ my type but not my time. We clicked within 10 seconds(WAAAHH tears), now that I think about it we shared the same personality.

We did very many crazy stuff, we didn’t have to impress each other but the only thing we were pressed for was time. We spent every spare second time talking and getting to know each other.

My most memorable day was this one day we discussed books for like an hour. Then we decided to do something outdoors. So we went out to the nearest playground from where we were(you do realize I am giving as shallow information as possible).

 We removed our shoes and started playing “catch you”, SO he would run and I had to catch him then the chase would turn back to me. He was witty, interesting to listen too, and most of all respectful. It was (if you ask me) the real deal. I have very fond memories of our friendship. It was pure, lovely and admirable.

 It was Lovely in every form, and it oozed our hearts desire from the bossom of our stomachs. It was profound, memorable in every angle of it. He cared about me, and I cared more than he could have ever known or imagine.

One time He came with cake and some Jon Carson audios to listen to. It was profound just to listen and share our convictions. I admired his walk with God, his personality and character, his charisma and presence. My heart went out to him FULLY. But as I said earlier it was not my time yet to get into a relationship. So after a long battle, I released him to God.

After many days, note I haven’t said weeks or months. I withdrew!! I knew He was battling between me and another girl  he had mentioned a couple of times before. 100 days , 100 days is all it took to know him, what he ached for in his life.

More profoundly for me I was able to know that true and genuine love and friendship existed. He looked for me after that, but I told him its best we take a back seat from this alchemy. It would have destroyed us. We both knew we had a symphony, but not for a long lasting orchestra.

Our last texts read something like this;

I wish I met you five years ago, He said.

I am glad we met last year, you came at the very right time.

Invite me for your wedding, He concluded.

I will, don’t invite me for yours, please!

I’ll miss you many days to come, he said.

Let’s love Jesus all the days of our lives

Loving Jesus on and on….

……………………….

I never responded after that, it was just a very thin line. Too thin I wanted to cross over and never leave. But I had to live for Jesus, I had to lay down my newly found most valuable treasure for him who gave up everything for me.

This is why I know I didn’t hurt him; we are now very good good friends. That break was vital and important to help us honour God. Nothing gives me joy like knowing I loved God more than Him. And I’ll do it again and again.

We planned to meet after sometime, so that he can he introduce me to his girl. It was lovely, there was a lot of honesty between the two. I came to learn later on that he had shared our story with her. That girl also made me aware that she is a very secure woman(VERY admirable mama).

She told me, I don’t think he has ever talked about me the way He talks about you. I made light of the matter, and with a hearty laugh I said, “look whose wearing his engagement ring”. We both laughed and hugged and clearly the best candidate had won the battle. 80/20 rule, I was the 20. They had met a long time before and had known each far much better. Something that had actually informed me to step back.

I am/ was happy for him genuinely. I thank God for him, He gave me a memory, a treasure, an alchemy, a broken road that will one day will lead me to the one. He taught me a few things that I a forever grateful for. Just 4 months and the impact was immense. I could almost say that I had met my soul mate(I don’t believe in such things though).

On the harder part of things-letting go hurt at first, cause that’s what happens it  just HURTs so bad. I didn’t think my soul would ever see the ray of light of a day for a long time.

Thinking about it just now, only peace and joy fills my heart and OF COURSE I see lots of day in my soul. God was gracious in healing my mind, body and soul. I was never bitter, jut grateful that I had had such an extra-ordinary friendship.

Why I’m I writing such a personal experience here?

I know someone who needs it and I have said it orally but now words could say just much more. I also felt like I should write this story for some of my friends who are going though some very dark holes. Either they don’t know how to leave the person, and its understandable.

 Or they have this person in mind with every waking moment. It doesn’t seem like you will get past this stage of life. Pray about it and give it time to be healed completely. If you need talk about it so many times till you exhaust it-please do.

Worst mistake you can ever do, IS rebound to the next person you met. I did that grievous mistake!! I hurt a few people in the process. I promise you it heals faster when you don’t involve a genuine soul, for yours is not genuine just selfish to fill the void.

“I want you to swear, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not arouse or awaken my love Until she pleases.” Songs of Songs 8: 4

“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Songs of Songs 2:7

In it’s perfect time it will come.

He must BE; I must become

Daughty.