A gay husband can never change - Psychologist

In her practice, city psychologist Jennie Karina says she has come across several such cases of closeted gay husbands who married in church. “Living with a man you know sleeps with other men is the most difficult thing for a woman to do. Many women are strong, and they do it for their children, but without adequate counselling, it does irreparable harm to the woman’s confidence, trust and even sexuality,” warns Karina.

She adds: “Women come to me in a bid to save their marriages, sometimes they drag the men along for counselling sessions.” She recalls one incident in which a gay spouse told the wife he was no longer interested in any sexual relationship with her. The man reportedly made it clear he would get another man to satisfy her sexual needs since his needs were being satisfied elsewhere.

“It was a very painful revelation,” notes Karina. “It is also a betrayal to know someone just used you to get babies, and maintain a respectable façade for society. It takes women a very long time to heal from such betrayal, and even when they heal, they will never forget,” observed the psychologist.

“A woman would rather have you cheat on her with another woman but not a man,” she adds. According to Karina, “If a woman catches you with a man, most of the times she will blame herself. She will think that she wasn’t good enough for you to the extent you had to seek a man for sexual satisfaction.”

Her advice to such women is to “Seek counselling. It is never their fault anyway. And it is rarely something you can change.”