Mean deputy’s reign of terror starts as teachers wet their pants

Wangu wa Makeri, Meta Meta’s new Depa has hit the ground running. Her presence is being felt in every corner of the school. Consequently, she has already acquired both enemies and admirers. Many teachers find her snobbish and resent the way she talks down at them. And then she happens to be quite mean with her greetings; a trait the lively Meta Meta community is yet to come to terms with.

The dean, whom Okonkwo had been grooming for the Depa’s post, is on a mugomo baridi (go slow). Her office hasn’t set the dates for midterm and end-term exams. Annette has joined her. She would have become the dean if Okonkwo’s scheme had worked out. However, the entry of Wangu Wa Makeri threw a spanner in the works.

Vasco Da Gama, the history master, for some reason admires the new Depa’s iron will. He has advised that she reads ‘The Prince’ by Niccolo Machiavelli and ‘The Art of War’ by Sun Tsu to get strategies of gaining and remaining in power. “At this rate, she will make too many enemies since she has opened too many war fronts,” he observed while we were busy demolishing a goat’s engine and muteta soup at JJ’s, our local joint.

Staff briefing

The kitchen hasn’t escaped her notice. She was shocked to discover the staff do not have health certificates. “We are risking a cholera outbreak here,” she told Jezebel, the school cateress. The school kitchen, like many other busy kitchens, is also dirty and a haven for rats. Her maiden tour of the facility was dramatic.

“Is this a school kitchen or a rat breeding ground?” she screamed as a rat the size of a piglet shot past her, almost sweeping her off her feet and making her drop her tablet in fright. The kitchen has since been thoroughly cleaned and even received a coat of paint.

Class teachers haven’t been spared either. They are now taking roll call twice a day -- at eight in the morning and at two in the afternoon. Some had delegated the work to class prefects. The prefects would mark attendance in an exercise book and hand it over to the class teacher on Fridays or whenever Depa demanded the registers.

Last week during a staff briefing, class teachers led by Donatta, protested this move, which they considered draconian. Wangu Wa Makeri quickly opened the TSC site on her Techno tablet and read out the duties of a class teacher. They also included maintaining cleanliness in the classroom.

“The TSC Act is quite clear on that matter. Besides we must monitor our students closely to reduce chances of some slipping out to join Boko Haram or other terror networks. This will also help us to check truancy, whose levels here are unacceptable,” she concluded. Like a goat, Okonkwo nodded in agreement.

Rumour mill

Her attitude towards the staffroom has been questioned; she treats it as if it was an Ebola-infested territory. She only visits it briefly, after which she immediately bolts for her office. The previous Depa, though not very popular with colleagues, would sneak up on teachers in the staff room at odd times — mainly with the intention of finding out what they were gossiping about.

Schola, our rumour mill caretaker, has gone silent. We suspect that she is busy digging up Wangu wa Makeri’s files from her former school and the TSC. She has reliable sources who can access archived records when necessary. Donatta whispered that she is trying to verify something, which if confirmed would give us a scandal to last the entire term!