Finding the one who becomes your rock

Finding the one who becomes your rock

Many may have been through the struggles dating the wrong people and unfortunately, some continue to do so, time and time again without learning from the lessons.

On the other hand, some may have found that special someone, but it took a couple mistakes before you found the right guy. It is often said that one may have to kiss a few frogs before finally stumbling on “the one”. Where are you looking? What are your preferences? What do you have to offer?

As one looks for “the one” many times we may be caught with the fantasy and forget that it is not just about finding that perfect human being it is about working towards perfection as a life long process.

When US President Barack Obama gave his Presidency acceptance speech in November 2012, he gave a glowing tribute to his wife. “I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years, the rock of our family, the love of my life, the nation’s next first lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both more than you can imagine.”

Joy, a single Kenyan woman, was wowed by Obama’s speech. “Will I ever get to that level that my partner can speak that way about me? Can I ever find “the one” who becomes not only my partner but my rock?”

As much as it may seem farfetched, it can become a reality. When you meet “the one,” there is no struggle. You simply feel comfortable with them and enjoy the flow. It’s obvious when you’re with the wrong person, you are insecure about the relationship and worry that one false move will turn your partner off.

That’s not the case with “the one”. You can feel it deep down that your relationship is not working. Unfortunately too many people stay in hopeless relationships, praying that the person will change and become who they desire. They hang on for too long and lose what should be their treasure, their respect and self-worth.

Surely, you do not need that, you are called for greater and better than you choose to settle for.

Despite what people might assume, it isn’t always smooth sailing. The One is not always wrapped in the perfect package, physically or in terms of life circumstances.

It does not mean either that the relationship will come without challenges. Why one becomes the rock of their partner is simply that together they have encountered many life challenges and this helps in strengthening their relationship.

It does not necessarily mean both partners always share the same views, but that their overall goals and ambitions match.

Remember there is strength in diversity. You are a team that is in it for the long haul so do yourself a favour and look at the bigger picture.

The one is not too far away, they could be the one that sat next to you in class, it could be someone you met in your twenties, may be had a thing and moved on, it could be someone you see every day.

The one is here, keep an open mind and an open ear and you will sure find them. Reduce the packaging matter and head for the real thing.

It is not about finding the one, but what you do with whom you find; investing in a relationship that is solid. Be the Rock.

The writer is a Relationship Coach and Author, Marriage Built to Last. You can reach her on; www.jenniekarina.co.ke