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Best way to put smile on your in-law's faces this festive season

Counties

Happy in-laws

As early as three months ago, the festive season was here with us. But that is according to the shopping malls. The first time I heard the Christmas carols was way back in early October.

If I have found myself broke at this point, I cannot say I was not given adequate warning that Christmas was coming. However, the real festive season is here with us.

This is the time that the urbanites have to make that long awaited trip to see the folks and in–laws as well. It is more or else a live depiction of the movie Meet the Parents.

This is the boys’ plan on how to survive this testing period with the in-law. First, if your father-in-law entertains a bit of a drink after consuming mbavu za mbuzi, it might be a good idea that you land there with a nicely packaged whiskey or brandy.

Old geezer

Your mother-in-law may not approve of it but who cares? After all you are bonding with the real lion of the den! Usually, when you are dealing with your boys, it is usually the more the merrier. However, in this case I wouldn’t approve of that approach.

Remember the old geezer may not be accustomed to this and therefore he may not know his endurance level. If he were to black out, you do not want to be the centre of that scandal. You do not want to get a hair dryer treatment from your mother-in-law.

To the uninitiated, hair dryer treatment is when one gives you such a serious and loud tongue lashing that the force of the wind gushing down from her mouth has the same effect as an electrical hair dryer.

To sweeten the deal after the bottle of alcohol, you can throw in a sleeveless cardigan; they call them the wind breaker in them shags. He will love it as he wears it inside and his faded coat on top.

At the village shopping centre where they tend to congregate in the evenings to catch up on the latest news and rumours in the country, the cardigan will do him good.

Of course you can never afford to ignore your mother-in-law. Whatever you do contrary to seemingly popular belief, do not buy her a blanket.

A pal of mine who will remain nameless for the time being bought his mother-in-law a blanket. On arrival to his parents-in-law’s home, he proudly brandished a blanket the same way a hunter would display his catch.

Extra cash

He was too excited he did not notice his father-in-laws eyes start to narrow as the aunties eyes widened. He would later come to learn that in that culture, when you offer a blanket to someone, you are actually offering to share it with her!

So to avoid such tectonic blunders stick to the safe zone. Besides the obligatory shopping, there is a number of strategic shopping that you can dive into.

By now you should have dragged along her daughter into some shopping mall, picked some nice dress, then pops into Bata or any other shoe shop worth its sole and pick good looking shoe for her Sunday neighbourhood meetings with her friends.

If you got some extra cash, throw in a couple of those Bata Ngomas rubber shoes for use during her week day errands. Even if the old geezer insists on drinking himself silly, the nice dress and the Bata ngomas will be your defence.

Have a Merry Christmas devoid of festive blunders.

Photo:www.victorystl.com  

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