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Why shaming a pastor is always counterproductive

Counties

You have seen the news reports. A displeased woman confronts a “Man of God” accused of neglecting his other family. The victim usually times the peak hour of the main service, when the church is packed to the rafters.

She storms the church and directs her fury at the hypocrite glowing in the pulpit in the full glare of the bemused congregation. The angry worshipers eject the irate woman violently, accusing her of acting in a manner that caused a breach of peace.

Not once have I seen or heard of church members reeling in shock at the revelation and demanding accountability from the accused pastor. Why aren’t suspected pastors booed? Why doesn’t anyone shout “Shame! Shame! Shame!” The burden of proof is always with the woman.

Anointed soul

The pastor just has to deny three times and the congregation will believe him. After all he is a man of god, an anointed soul above such lowly earthly temptations. One would hope that women in the congregation would share some solidarity and load pressure on the pastor to clear his name, but nope!

It is the confrontational woman who ends up labelled a home wrecker, a jealous ex, a whiner and a crazy bitch. The aggrieved woman has limited options for redress. Abandoned wives are akin to frustrated teachers courting civil obedience.

As the adage goes, “He who shouts loudest will be heard first”. When a man ignores your pleas to participate in joint parental custody and justice is slow in coming, a public shaming spectacle can be fairly tempting. A pastor may be the centre of a full expose in the papers, charged with gross irresponsibility.

Pelting pig with mud

However, once the case is brought to the court of public opinion all the pastor has to do is say, “This is the devil’s work” and he will be flooded with sympathy votes. Public shaming is a double edged sword. A man who has been humiliated in public is unlikely to change his behaviour and only hardens his resolve to play absentee and in the end an innocent child is subjected the trauma of rejection.

The acts of public shaming would destroy the reputation and careers of regular guys. However religious leaders who enjoy the trappings of power, perhaps only rivaled by politicians and military generals in this country will be rarely moved. Public shaming them is similar to pelting a pig with mud.

 

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