The emergence of the 'Lazy' men who sit around and wait for everything to be done for them

Bachelors, listen up. If you stumble upon a devastatingly beautiful lady and manage to woo her and pay dowry (by the way, men who eloped with people’s daughter and keep playing hide-and-seek with fathers-in-law over bride price, share a lot in common with thieves; enjoying goods and services they haven’t paid for! Please pay up!); take her before a pastor or Attorney General to say “I do” and put her in your house where you pay bills and all other expenses, trust me it will boost your ego tremendously.

With your ego boosted, I can assure you, you will have the moral authority to call the shots in that house. Before decisions are made you will be consulted, and you will be the final decision maker to boot!

However, there is a bunch of sissies masquerading as men who belong to a different school of thought. They think bumming around the house doing household chores, watching TV, gossiping, tweeting, facebooking as their wives slave like lunatics to put food on the table is such a plausible calling. The cheek of it!

And to make matters worse, they still want to be cocky, behave like cockerels in the house, and get away with it. Jeez! It’s a scandal. Women could be great at multi-tasking. But this should not be the reason to enslave them; especially if they are sole breadwinners. If anything, is there any woman in this day and age of empowerment who would marry a jobless man?

Look, there are so many things men get away with. Murder included. Unfortunately, and sorry boys, being jobless and getting married to a high-flying woman is not one of them. Well, you may be insanely in love and even date her but nothing dampens her spirit faster than proposing marriage to her.

And if you are married, immediately you become jobless (and refuse to search for one, just because your wife brings home unga anyway), expect two things. First, your wife will take off. Painful but very true. Second, if she is patient and stays put, just know the countdown to when she will leave has begun. In the meantime, brace yourself for proper henpecking (for the record, I’m not speaking from experience). Nothing personal, it’s women’s nature.

Truth be told, majority of women frown upon the idea of stay-at-home husbands. The mere thought of them toiling while their husbands laze about home angers them.

The concept of househusbands beats me. Look, nothing boosts a proper man’s ego and confidence to dizzying heights than his utility and usefulness being felt, especially by a woman.

Small wonder then, that, when a woman’s car breaks down on the road, it’s common to see a proper man, however clueless about cars, saunter by; peer in the bonnet; sniff the innards; tinker with this and that, and for special effect, click while at it. Then, points a finger at nothing in particular and mumbles: “You see this thing, that’s where the problem is. Unfortunately, I didn’t bring my tool box along.”

In a nutshell, as a man, you must be seen to be helpful. Never come off as useless, and if you do, be ready to be disrespected, henpecked, cheated on, or even denied (or get rationed) conjugal rights!

Want a woman who will respect you, but you’ve no job (however small)? Forget it! Get lost! Doubting? Read our main feature on page 8-9. Enjoy.