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Here is the revised syllabus for wife material qualities

Lifestyle

wife material requirement

Nairobi women are genetically superior than their counterparts in other African cities, especially when it comes to setting what they believe are high standards. A good number of women in Nairobi think God short-changed them with stingy and unromantic men. They are convinced they deserved better, even if their idea of ‘better’ is misplaced fawning on white pensioners or Nigerian men of dubious character, whose idea of romance is limited to showering their women with gifts, money and blue pills.

This notoriety has even seen our daughters washing away their identities. They even go to the length of bleaching their African beauty for short-lived fame that’s no more than a flash in a pan

Our women are quick to pout over the attributes of the impeccable Mr Right who is stuck in the realm of their dreams. This mysterious tall, dark, handsome and rich man who is supposed to drop from the sky like a superhero with much fanfare and sweep them of their feet in a state of romantic nirvana, off to marital bliss.

They want all these and more for their kids to have the right pedigree, flawless genes and to be raised in royal comfort by Mr Mysterious, aka Mr Right! What never registers in their pretty heads though is that men also want the very best for their children, probably even better than our womenfolk’s preoccupation with riches and looks.

With their lofty wish lists, what some of these women seek is freedom (mostly financial) and maybe equality, but without the willingness to put their back to it and own up to corresponding (and expected) obligations.

Recently, a colleague of mine made it clear that she’s not going to brook nonsense from any man who will have the backbone to ask her if she can cook. Her rather bumptious rejoinder was that the man should also be ready to prove he can build a house or kill a lion. The crux of the matter from her perspective, if I am not mistaken, is that the world has changed and so have the standards. We can no longer hanker for the standards that we lived by in the past.

Fair enough. But if women to date expect a man to be the provider, regardless of his circumstances, that he has to measure up to some gold standard in their heads before even getting as much as a hug, shouldn’t men not be similarly expectant? I mean shouldn’t men not get value for their ‘valour,’ gallant generosity or whatever it is that tickle our women’s feminine fancies?

It is in this equitable spirit that I asked bachelors about the qualities they look for in women to marry. The men’s response is vintage: The script has not changed much. The check list has interesting requirements like the woman going to church and no alcohol (with the exception of sacrament wine and maybe the occasional vino at home). If she must go out, she can only stay up to 9.35pm, just before the DJ starts playing corrupting music like those of the ‘bend-over’ genre.

In addition, our single-and-ready-to-settle men said they love women who can read more than just Facebook and Twitter posts.

They should also be interested in watching thought-provoking stuff that have nothing to do with smooth-chested telenovela characters with annoying names like Alejandro.

 

The days of the bimbo are gone. Men are now turned on by women with substance between their ears, women who can hold intelligible conversation that has nothing to do with the colour of their lipstick or length of their fake lashes. It’s the era of beauty and brains. We need to engage you in the geopolitics of Gaza, the melody of modern music and art and an understanding of businesses’ concern of a plebiscite of opinions. Men expect their women to have some decorum and dignity. Even if their mother is the rabble-rousing type, she still deserves your respect, even if for nothing but her golden age.

She laboured to bring you to this world. Protestations aside, men still get fulfilled by a woman who can whip up a mean dish like chapatti and ugali. Yeah, yeah, so you work and get tired as well. We don’t want cooked meals from supermarkets either or microwaved takeaways, we can handle that on our own.

Granted, a majority of women have no problem with these expectations and actually live up to them, but there are a handful of vain women who still need to be schooled in ‘what it takes to be a good wife.’

@nyanchwani or [email protected]

 

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