Radical changes proposed by the Meta Meta fraternity

Greetings from the Meta meta fraternity. Sir, we have keenly followed the progress of your task force in the press since none of your members has set foot at Meta meta to get our views. Had you visited us, we could have even organized for a goat to be slaughtered at JJ’s, our popular local joint.

Please sir, receive our proposals which were arrived at under the chair of our own Vasco Da Gama during a session at J.J’s.

Being aware of the likelihood that none of your taskforce members has children or grandchildren in primary or secondary public schools, we feel emboldened to share our views.

Those with kids in public secondary schools are likely to patronize premier institutions in the league of Alliance and Kenya High. We are not complaining since we have learnt to cope with the hypocrisy of Kenyans who extol the virtues of water while diving and swimming in wine.

Bei ya jioni uniforms

Sir, school uniforms are a curse to many a parent’s wallet. You may be aware these items are bought from specific shops as directed in the school’s admission letter. What may have escaped your notice, since perhaps your wallet never experiences drought, is that the uniforms are overpriced.

A Form One student’s blazer is sold at a price equivalent to that of a Jacket from the exclusive city center shops specializing in Italian wear. By the time a parent is through with the uniform and assorted toiletries for boarding schools, most pockets are torn.

The uniforms could have been cheaper but for some confidential understanding between many school administrators and shop owners. We thus propose that uniforms be abolished or the sector be liberalized. Let parents buy cheaper uniforms even if it is at Nairobi’s Gikomba market - bei ya jioni offer.

Walked barefoot

After all, very few Kenyans wear new clothes. As you read our proposals, the person sitting next to you may be donning a mtumba item.

The fixation with the color of shoes and socks should also be discarded. Many of your age mates probably walked barefoot to school. That did not prevent them from chewing books up to university.

And the knotty matter of ties? Most of our graduates may never wear a tie after school. That is, unless one comes from a clan which deems it indecent to send off a dead relative without a tie.

Alternatively sir, uniforms for all public schools can be stitched by the NYS. This would kill two birds with a single stone: providing youth employment and getting them off killer alcohol brands and chewing muguka throughout the day.

Ranking of schools in national exams should be stopped. Being the dream of every school to appear on national TV as having topped the charts, the pressure is passed on to parents who have to pay money for all types of district exams, teacher motivation, revision material, reams of photocopying paper and ad nauseum.

Can’t afford

We should also stop converting every good day school into a boarding facility. The poor who can’t afford fees in boarding schools have a right to quality day schools if we are serious about access to education.

The Education Cabinet Secretary and KNEC may be loath to let go of this opportunity which allows them to address the whole Nation. But sir, of what value is the exam ranking when every Kenyan suspects that the KNEC firewall is as porous as the Kenya-Somalia border and that exam papers leak like a spoilt tap?