Five ways to say ‘I Love You

                       Five languages of love         PHOTO: COURTESY

BY Julian Kamau

@JulianWanjiru

We all want to find someone we can love genuinely for who they really are. We also want to feel loved not just by words but also by action. There are different ways in which we all want to be loved. That’s why its important to find out how your significant other wants to be loved or how he/she feels loved most. 

So whats your love language?

Today we learn about the five languages of love.

  1. Gifts

For some, they feel more loved when they are showered with gifts every so often. By gifts, I don’t necessarily mean expensive and big gifts. It could be a bracelet, a necklace, a flower, a tie, a belt or chocolates; something that you won’t have to dig so much into your pocket.

  1. Acts of service

People from this group feel more loved when you do something for them. For example helping them in house chores like washing dishes, mopping the house, delivering mail to them, wiping their shoes, unhanging clothes from the clothes lines etc. When you do these small acts for them, they feel very loved.

  1. Touch

These are people who, unless you touch them once in a while, they woun’t feel loved. By touch, I mean holding hands, rubbing their back, hugging, pecking and basically been physically close to them.

  1. Words of affirmation

There are these ones who thrive in words of affirmation. They feel more loved when their loved ones tell them sweet little nothings. They love it when their partner compliments them, tells them words like I love you, I care for you, I adore you, you are special to me, your beautiful, I love your muscles and the likes.

  1. Quality time

These are the kind of persons who love to spend quality time with their loved ones. For them you need to make time for them or create time no matter how busy your schedule is.

They love to hang out with their loved ones either by going to the movies, swimming, picnics, dates, at your house or camping. They basically enjoy your company.

We all have one dominant love language that when done to us, we feel more loved. The reason it is key to know your partners love language is that you could be expressing love to them in a way that they understand. You could be showering her with gifts yet she doesn’t care for gifts. All she wants is for you to hold her hand. You could also be telling her all these ‘lovey dovey’stuff but all she wants is for you to make time for her.

So how do you know your partner’s love language?

First of all, you should be able to communicate with your partner and ask them whether they feel loved and when they normally feel loved at most. That will help you determine what really makes them feel loved.

Secondly, most people show love in the way they would like to be loved. For example if your partner keeps showering you with gifts, then receving gifts is her love language. If your partner wants to spend time with you all day, then quality time is her love language.

One can have two or three love languages but there is always one that is more dominant. This, however, does not mean that you should abandon all the other love languages altogether after you find out your partner’s love language. Love is more fulfilling when all these are incoporated to make your relationship more fulfilling.

So there you have it! Have a love-filled day.