Gay rights? We prefer livestock, Mr Barrack Obama!

Poor Barack Obama. His big trip to Africa last week was overshadowed by the very public illness of Nelson Mandela, while a few Africans in Johannesburg even had the temerity to protest against Obama’s second coming to Africa.

In West Africa, Obama was scolded by his host, Senegalese President Macky Sall, for daring to suggest that Senegal should repeal its anti-homosexuality law. President Sall  a no-nonsense Muslim  told Obama off to his face, noting that America was welcome to legalise homosexuality, but not to export it to Africa.

“It’s like our polygamy,” President Sall twisted the knife, “we practice it here, but we don’t try to export it to America.”

Well put Sall.

President Obama would have saved himself a lot of trouble had he bothered  like a good son should to read the Kenyan media religiously, daily. If he had, he’d have seen that African men don’t like getting all-romantic with other men. No, we prefer livestock.

 All across the country, from Mombasa to Mandera to Kiambu to Vihiga, men and women have taken to loving animals in very unusual ways. And it appears to be spreading.

Our women, it turns out, have fallen for canine charms. “All men are dogs”, a common phrase heard from many an exasperated housewife tired of her husband coming home late everyday smelling of strange female perfumes, has turned into “all dogs are men”. And a whole dozen or so of our university girls, were alleged to have been “involved”  say it delicately with dogs in Mombasa.

Not to be outdone, the men stepped forward and unleashed their own terror on livestock  the women having gone to the dogs, our men went to the cows and donkey, quite literally too. One shudders to imagine what might be in store for the parched camels of Mandera!