Mutula goes fishing after a long walk in the refreshing park

Whenever Education Minister Mutula Kilonzo appears before cameras, a flicker of panic shows in the eye. The eyes open wide like lens zooming in on an object, and a tremor creeps in his voice.

He is freaked out at the prospects of being misquoted, as happened recently over that mini-skirt issue. I meant the skirt issue. You know, Mutula has vowed to sue anyone using his name and mini-skirt in the same breath.

For those who have forgotten, Mutula got into serious trouble for insinuating certain lengths of hemline are only good for the cultivation of virtuous women, especially the devout kind.

Mini-skirt payslip

That pushed the debate in a different direction, including online, where computer-generated images of Mutula stepping out in a mini-skirt were splashed.

Now that the teachers are on strike, some say Mutula is skirting around the issue by giving them a “ mini-skirt” payslip, which means it’s short on perks and allowances.

Some teachers have taken to the streets and destroyed Mutula’s effigy, but the razzmatazz does not appear to shake a strand of Mutula’s shock of greying hair.

Speaking to a scribe this week, Mutula was calm and collected, to use the clichéd expression, as he outlined his experience in Government.

Hear him: “It was a privilege to be entrusted with the establishment of the Nairobi Metropolitan Ministry during my first term in Parliament as an elected MP,” he started. “The strategy I formulated is in fact being implemented by my successors...”

Hmmn. The strategy he alludes to must include his flight of fancy, when he took to the skies to review city layout and traffic gridlock, before landing on a helipad at Jomo Kenyatta International Conference Centre or a spot near there.

He then came down to earth with the realistic idea of swimming in the Nairobi River after instituting its restoration.

We know many motorists would still prefer riding in a chopper than driving through the city maze, while a swim in the Nairobi River is well within Mutula’s reach since I suspect he can walk on water.