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What not to do when cohabiting

Updated Saturday, August 11th 2012 at 00:00 GMT +3

Cohabiting has for various reasons become a norm, so when in this kind an arrangement, play your cards right, writes NIKKO TANUI

There was a time when young couples seeking to live together as husband and wife couldn’t do so until they had informed their respective parents and sought their blessing over their union.

And, of course, a wedding had to follow because the young woman’s parents wouldn’t gladly let their daughter become anybody’s wife  without receiving a herd of cattle, goats or sheep as dowry, while providing debes of honey and murantina.

However, more young couples for reasons such as; fear of rejection for hailing from a ‘bad’ tribe or class, age difference, luck of funds to finance an elaborate wedding ceremony among a host of others are choosing to cohabitate. 

As a result, many parents go into shock on receiving news that their son or daughter living in urban centres have since “gotten ‘married’ just like that”.

Even so, what many young couples want is to ‘try’ the marriage first.

But after all is said and done, when a couple cohabiting for one reason or another feel they are not ideal for each other, the loser is usually the would-have-been bride.

Therefore, for a woman who opts to live with a man first before he puts a worthy wedding ring on her finger, there are certain things that she should, under no circumstances, let herself do while in cohabiting with him.

 

Time

If you must cohabit with a man, baby, don’t sit there for years daydreaming that one day he will finally give you that dream wedding you dreamt about since you were a little girl.

You see, the longer you live together the more the idea of a wedding will be relegated to the back banner since a wedding certificate doesn’t make a successful marriage anyway.

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