Reader's Dillema
I am turning 29 this year and my fiancée is 25. We had a child last year and God took him away. Since then, life has not been easy.
Many times I have asked her that we try and get another child but she always has excuses and is not keen on it. Sometimes she even turns the tables on me accusing me of not being committed to this relationship or that she wants a colourful wedding first.
We are both working and studying at the same time, never mind that I am the one who is paying fees for both of us. I think the problem is that most of her friends are getting married so she also wants a wedding, but she does not care about or understand my financial position.
I am stressed because I love her and want to make her happy, but she doesn’t seem to want to understand me! What do I do?
{Morris}
Your Say
You need to explain to her about your financial position. It seems your fiancée knows how much you earn and she is confident that you can afford the wedding plus all the fees. Sabastian Ouma
Sorry bro but you seem to be in a hurry. Let her take her time. She needs to heal from the last tragedy. Carinah Kanyingi
My friend, I’m sorry it’s hard on you but she is your fiancée. You want a child, she needs a wedding. How about you suggesting that she stops her studies to prepare for the marriage, then she will understand your financial position. Reinhard, Mig
It seems the problem emanates from the loss of your child, which is a natural cause and nothing can be done about it. Your fiancée could be having fears for the future in case you get married and such a predicament occurs. The best thing is for both of you to part ways in a dignified manner. Aseri Derrick
You are being insensitive big time. You seem to have no idea of the attachment between mother and child. I’m a mother and I believe I am the only one who knows what I share with my babies. You must allow your woman to heal before asking for another baby. I’m impressed you are paying for her fees, it shows how much you value her. Be patient and allow her to heal — a wedding will catalyse the process, you better plan for one. Irene Mukiri, Meru
Counsellors say
