By PETER KAMURI
It is scarcely two years since Lyn and Bob (not their real names) got married. On one hand, Lyn can no longer trust her husband as she suspects him of infidelity and disloyalty. She now feels insecure and her mind is already poisoned.
On the other hand, Bob feels unhappy as his wife is always picking faults on him. She is highly intolerant and too keen to remember all the bad things he does. This has created tensions in the way they relate and it’s rocking their relationship. Bob has another grouse about his wife.
“She does not take time to listen to me and shows minimal respect to any of my opinions,” he says.
Bob now finds this to be too tough to tolerate and it may just be the time for a permanent solution to be sought.
What Lyn and Bob are going through is not unusual in relationships. When problems rock relationships, it can be a source of stress and unhappiness to both couples and solutions must be sought expediently.
Jessica Kamau, a family counsellor says every person wants to have a committed and satisfying relationship. However, breakdown of a relationship can create feelings of annoyance, sorrow and loneliness. Such occurrence can make one-experience mental problems, poor physical health, and reduced productivity at work.
“Unfortunately, there are no quick-fix solutions to relationship problems. However, there may come a time when it may be important for one or both parties involved to look for some space and get a break from each other. When this is well-planned, it can help a relationship get out of the woods,” observes Kamau.
She advises, “If your relationship is having a problem, it may be the time to take a break and see if the healing process will be accelerated. However, taking time apart from each other should not be a way of running away from the real problems.”
“Instead, taking a break should be an opportunity for an individual to rediscover himself or herself. A healthy relationship is about give and take. One partner has to let go and compromise their differences. This can mark the start of the healing process,” she adds.