Another funny incident happened in Khwisero Constituency. A local drunkard was married to a woman whose home was across the fence. One day, he started drinking earlier than usual. When he staggered home in the evening, he used a short cut — a path that cut right in front of his in-laws’ home.
In his state, however, he mistook it for his home and walked into the house, straight to the bedroom, where his nude mother in-law was applying oil on her body after a bath. The elderly woman screamed, attracting the attention of her sons who quickly whisked him away.
News spread like wildfire. He had drunkenly tried to rape his mother-in-law! That was four years ago. Today, the reformed drunk is the church catechist. He has never touched alcohol since.
But it is at funerals that alcoholics are barely tolerated. A priest in Butere District was holding a burial service for a renowned shopkeeper. The deceased, the wealthiest man in the village, was a greedy and mean man.
During the sermon, the priest, however, eulogised the deceased as a generous man headed to heaven. But his monologue was cut short by a drunkard shouting, “Iriambo. Habil ne jawuoro. Sani en e mach kod Obel Sibuth (You are lying, Habil was a miser. Right now, he is probably in hell with Belzebul)!
After the burial, the priests and mourners from Nairobi were told to sit in a special tent where they were served rich food while the rest of the villagers were told to queue up for boiled maize and beans on plastic plates.
The drunk, unhappy at the open discrimination, staggered to the ‘high table’ and said to the priest, “In emaowinjo ichiem kod ogandawala. Yesu be nechiemo kod ogandawalla. Jo farisai emanechiemo ee high table kendgi (You should eat with wananchi. Even Jesus shared meals with wananchi. Only the hypocrites and Pharisees shared the high table)!”
The brothers of the deceased, now fed up with the drunken man and his ‘truth’, quickly dragged him away and flung him outside the homestead. Blame in on the alcohol, but he had made his point.