He got upset, shouting that he knew his rights, had money and was going to board that matatu to Kabete whether they liked it or not. They finally let him in and he fell asleep immediately.
excuse
But he woke up in the morning at Central Police Station. The ‘matatu’ had actually been a police car and the officers — who evidently must have been in a good mood — had a good laugh at his expense. Good thing all his valuables were intact.
Contrary to what most people think, however, drunken people always know what they are doing. They just don’t care as much. Stories are told of men who use alcohol as an excuse to say what they think of their wives, neighbours, siblings, parents and bosses.
For instance, a man who suspects all along that all his children resemble the assistant chief will one day drink himself senseless and let it all out.
Alternatively, a woman who gets sick of being harassed by her husband will get drunk and scream that he is ‘useless’ because he is not a ‘man’. Much as they will blame it on alcohol the next morning, everyone knows that the point has been made.
shy types
Alcohol makes most of us say the most ridiculously inappropriate things. We feel bigger, more handsome, eloquent and stronger than we really are.
The only reality that never fades, no matter how drunk one is, is how poor we are. A man who fell asleep on the table after many drinks will wake up and his first question is, “Can you spare Sh100 for my fare home?” Of course, he will pay back tomorrow!
Strangely, shy types become a handful after a drink. In a village in Sabatia, nobody had ever seen John angry. But one day, he turned up at the local chang’aa den, drank two glasses of the lethal brew and staggered out screaming
“Nobody recognises me in this village. They only recognise my brother. Everybody says, “I’m going to Fred’s place. Everything is always about Fred,” he fumed.
When he reached home, he took a panga and chased his brother, Fred, all over the village. The next day, when Fred and his parents came to confront him, they discovered that he had taken the first bus to Nairobi when the enormity of what he had done sunk in.
