By David Wygant
She was amazing for the first six months of the relationship. She couldn’t get enough of you. She attacked you. She’d go crazy all over — all over you. She’d blow you. She’d want sex with you and in the middle of the afternoon. Then, all of a sudden, it became a relationship. And all this stuff started happening. And it seemed like her libido had dried up.
So what do you do? Well, you’re probably like any other man: You start complaining, because men like to complain about things that they’ve lost. You start dropping those little hints, like, “Hey, babe, how come you never, you know, you never attack me anymore?”
We’ll start the complaining cycle. And the problem is, the complaining cycle never works. If you ask your friends, you’ll find most of them are in exactly the same situation (meaning, no sex life). They’re either in relationships that don’t have enough sex, or they’re not in a relationship and they’re not getting any sex. So the ones who are not getting any sex will tell you not to worry about it — at least you get it once in a while.
But I don’t believe the libido ever needs to go away.
The amazing thing about intimacy and having the same sexual partner is that the two of you can get comfortable with each other and learn everything about each other. Learn how to get each other off, learn how to please each other, learn what the other one likes. Know what the other one doesn’t like.
Treat her right
It’s not that she’s not attracted to you. It’s not that her sex drive is gone. It’s that you’re not connecting with her emotionally anymore. When sex is taken away from him, a man will complain. Some men get pouty. Some men just ignore their partner. And most of them will throw the complaints out there.
When a woman takes away the sex, it’s because you’re no longer connecting emotionally to her and you’re not treating her the same way you used to. Maybe you romanced her in the first six months and you’re no longer doing the little things that made her want to jump your bones every day.
Maybe you’re not listening to her or you’re not showing interest in things in her life. Maybe you’re not going out to the restaurant that she likes. Maybe you’ve become a football-aholic.
Still wondering where her libido has gone? What you have to do is look back at your behaviour in the first six months, when she was jumping your bones, and start replicating that behaviour again. You won’t need to ask for sex, and you won’t need to talk about sex. Men are driven by their groins. Women are driven by their emotions, by their hearts or their minds and their energy.
So if you’re humming the song “Where Has Her Libido Gone?” you need to look inside and realise you brought out that libido in the first place. And you’re the one who put that libido in check. You may need to replicate all the wonderful things you did for her in the first six months of the relationship. And you’ll find that not only will the sex come back, but a greater level of intimacy and trust will exist between the two of you — and the sex will be even better, stronger and more powerful.