By Shirley Genga
Last week, I had lunch with a friend who is a successful businesswoman. In between fattening fries and crunchy chicken, she leaned over and whispered that she was looking for a man with good genes to father her baby.
She was tired of men, tired of disappointments. She had simply given up on finding a man who would make a decent husband or boyfriend. All she needed was a baby. She didn’t care whether she never set eyes on the man again, she claimed.
This may be news to the conservative, but it is nothing new. Look around and you will find women who are single parents — not by mistake but by choice. They do not want a husband or boyfriend. All they want is a baby. To them men are walking sperm banks and nothing more.
Women today are more educated, financially independent and single. Some are single by choice; others are single because their success is intimidating and others because they cannot find a man who is their equal. Thus, instead of staying home and crying about it, they have become proactive.
They are ignoring the traditional family structure and creating a new structure that can accommodate their needs. Instead of becoming old and lonely rich spinsters frowned upon by their immediate family, they are redefining motherhood and leaving men out.
So when they are of a “certain age” and they are ready to have a child, they get a man, use him and dump him before he realises what hit him.
Such women who use men as sperm banks not because men are not available but because they want a baby without the drama that comes with being in a relationship, with a man who is never there anyway because he is either too drunk or too busy chasing other women.
Women today have become disillusioned by love and they are getting realistic.
The break ups and makeups, the cheating and the heartbreak have become too commonplace and too much to bear for women with serious things on their minds — like career.
Thus when they are ready for a baby they get a man, use him and ditch him. After all, men do that all the time anyway.
In any case, where does a woman find a good and responsible man? Husband material is extremely scarce.
Most men walking around are selfish, drink too much and can’t zip up. Strangely, the current culture is too emasculating and rewards men for being unfaithful and irresponsible rather than for being good husbands and fathers.