I’m 32 and my fiancé is 27. Our wedding date is set for August this year. I thought I would be happy about this, but it is only stressing me because she and her friends are making the wedding too expensive. Our initial budget was Sh300,000, but this has shot up to Sh610,000 currently.
Her justification is that friends and family should contribute to our wedding just like we do in theirs. Initially we wanted a small wedding because we are not financially stable. We had planned to contribute a third of the initial budget, but now it seems our contribution may go up to Sh350,000, which is way above my means.
She will hear nothing about cutting costs arguing that we are compromising on quality. She has threatened to boycott the wedding if we go with cheaper service providers, never mind that she is not contributing anything.
She has become unreasonable, sometimes even insulting my manhood — I have had to put up with a lot. This is not the beautiful and understanding girl I was dating. I want to get out of this.
If she is not helping to finance the wedding, why allow her to stress you for an expensive wedding? People even go to the AG Chambers and get married at a minimal cost. Marriage should not be built on fantasies, but on mutual understanding between the two of you, and not at the disposal of one of you.
The quality of your marriage isn’t expressed in the amount of money you will spend at the wedding, but the kind of life both of you will live afterwards. If she is threatening to quit because the wedding is cheap, then she may not stand by you in times of hardships, as the marriage will require. Be conscious about the person you want to marry.
Relationships and marriages prosper on three things; love, understanding and communication. She has communicated what she wants, but you need to explain to her that there is still a life to live after the wedding. She may not be mature enough to become a wife. Remember it is better and much easier breaking up a relationship than a marriage.